My So Called Family
by JamieTyler
Summary: Jesse's sick of being the 'baby' and wants out. But when Ashlock takes the rest of Mutant X hostage, can Jesse stay away? It's done now, but don't hate the ending....
1. Chapter 1

Alright, so i have had this story up for awhile but i wasn't really happy with it. So know i've taken it down tp revamp it. Here's the prolog again, revamped, and please stay tuned for the other chaps. I should have two more coming really soon.

Thanks,

Tye.

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**Prolog**

I tried to smile, I really did. I tried to be happy, I knew that I should be happy, that I should be ecstatic for her; after all she was my sister. But I just couldn't.

If it had been anyone else, anyone in the world...even Ashlock…It wouldn't hurt so much. But it was Brennan. She chose Brennan.

Brennan, the mighty team leader; Adam's right hand man; the undefeated champion of the mutant world. He wasn't here a day when he started to take over. He wasted no time in replacing me. As soon as he joined Mutant X, I was pushed to the side.

"_Are you sure Jesse should be out there? I mean, it seems like he gets into more trouble then he's useful."_

I went out on less and less missions until eventually…

"_I need you here; no one knows computers better then you. You're the only one who can get the information for us."_

…I went out on none.

I stayed at home with my computers where I was out of the way. Good old reliable Jesse. Good old dependable Jesse. He won't mind if we keep him stuck behind a desk. He loves computers, he's great with computers. He'll only get in the way out here. Leave him behind, he won't mind. Good old reliable, dependable Jesse will do whatever is asked.

And it wasn't so bad. I mean I didn't like it, but it wasn't so bad. It wasn't the worst thing he could do. No, that came today.

Ever since I was seventeen Shalimar has been my sister, my friend, my savor, my guardian angel. It was her and me against the world, fighting for the down trodden and suppressed with a little help from Adam. Then Brennan and Emma came along.

Emma wasn't bad, not at all. She fit right in with Shal and I, and we grew as close as brother and sister in a matter of days. No Emma was the perfect addition. It was Brennan that I questioned.

Don't get me wrong, it had nothing to do with his past. I never held it against him. What right did I have? I didn't grow up like he did. I didn't have to face the same things that he did. I never once judged him based on his past. It was more like my instincts.

He was too reckless, too impulsive. He acted on his gut, and yeah that's important and it's normally a good judge of a situation, but not when it's the soul Intel that you're going on. He was to easily riled, to quick to fight. He was going to get one of us hurt someday, and he did.

Of course it was me.

He got us into a situation that I had to get us out of. It cost me dearly. I mean it's not everyday that you feel your body drifting away around you. But it was worth it in the end, for what I gained was so much more powerful then any physical strength I could have imagined.

I proved that I was strong. I proved to them that I could take the pain, I could hold it together; that I could be entrusted with their lives and not fail them. More importantly, I proved to myself that I was powerful, that I was strong. That Hillviwe wasn't a fluke.

Hillviwe is probably my crowning achievement. For once it was the mighty Brennan who needed to be saved and the weak Jesse who was the only one who could save him.

I won. I fought him and I won.

He was pumped up, doped on some steroid that gave him the advantage. He used his powers, his tricks, through everything he could at me…and I won. He tore into me, physically and mentally. Dragged every fear, every shameful emotion and thought to the surface, made me face every hidden doubt and I won. Little ol' Jesse, me; I won with out drugs, with out my powers, with out a single trick. He kicked my ass, but I brought him down.

It didn't matter. It didn't matter to anyone but me.

It didn't matter that I saved everyone's butts when that missal almost hit us. That phase that Shal oh so sweetly demand that I do, jump started a whole wave of mutating for my body. That every day since, my powers have been growing at a painful rate.

It didn't matter that I have been training, that my fighting skills and my leadership skills have improved ten full. That I have become stronger, faster, tougher, and more powerful. All that matters is that I stay out of the way. That I sit behind my computer do the stupid security checks and stay out of the way. Hell, they don't even need me for hacking anymore; Brennan's figured it out. He can do it now.

The last few months haven't just shown me how strong I was; it showed me where I stood in Mutant X. I'm unimportant. I'm replaceable. I'm not needed.

But that knowledge, though bitter, wasn't hard to learn. It's always been that way in my life. I have my uses then I get used up and I'm not needed anymore. That's my lot in life and I guess I still haven't learned to accept it; I've just gotten use to it…

Sitting here, at this table in the Kitchen of Sanctuary surrounded by my Mutant X team members celebrating, I should feel the happiest I have ever felt. But I don't. I only feel numb.

How could she?

Why him?

Since the day he got here he's been pushing me to the side; taking my place in the field, taking my place as Adam's strategist and assistant, and most recently as Sanctuary's computer geek.

But worst, so much worst, he took my place in Shalimar's life. I'm no longer the confidant, the friend she turns to or 'her guy'. I'm Jesse and just a memory, and have been for a long time now.

I know it, and she knows it. I can tell by the way she looks at me now, the way she hugs me as I take my leave. A hug that I haven't had in so long and is far past too late.

And I can tell by a quick glance at Brennan that he knows he's won. The smile on his face and the look in his eyes as he watches us gives it away. He knows he's won, that he's pushed me to the side.

I'm not needed here anymore. This is not my home anymore. I'll leave quietly tonight; slip out before they wake up in the morning. Sure they'll miss me at first, but it'll only be superficial, I'm replaceable.

Emma catches my eye and I quickly clear my mind, but I doubt it was quick enough. Her eyes our trained on me as I leave the room, I can feel them in my back, but she doesn't follow me out.

I make my way to my room for the last time and as I enter I can't keep the tears from falling. A little bit of my soul has just died…

Sanctuary is quite and dark. I walk through it like a ghost; taking a final look around at the place that I thought would be my salvation.

Everything is in order. Everything is as it should be. Well, almost.

My final walk through done, I head to the computer lab where I have one last thing to do. It took me only seconds to hack into Adam's files and pull up my records. Every single record he had on Jesse Kilmartin, I copied to a flash drive then deleted from Sanctuary's mainframe. Just like I had deleted my hard drive clean and wiped the memory with a magnet. There was no record of me to be found in Sanctuary anywhere.

With a sigh I ejected the flash drive and pull my weary bones from the chair. I'm too young to feel this old and hollow.

I made my way to the garage via the hart of Sanctuary.

The hart of Sanctuary is an intersection of all the hallways found in the mountain; basically a grand entranceway. Dead center there is an oversized circle with an X cutting through it, surrounded by four others. It's here where we all got our rings and so it's here where I'll return mine.

The small band of silver feels meaningless in my palm and I stare at it, expecting...what?

Where it once brought feelings of comfort, acceptances, happiness and peace, there is nothing. It means nothing to me any more. It's a symbol, there symbol and to hang onto it will be like hanging on to the chains of a past I want to be free of. This band of silver is nothing, it's lost its meaning…so why is it so hard to let it go?

"_Good old Jessie, you got those print outs for us? We're going to need them out there? Oh, and can you get the blue prints and send them to us on the Helix? Thanks bro, we gotta go!"_

I clench my fist around it and feel my arm begin to mass. The weak metal crushes under my pressure and I fell it deform. Once I'm sure I've crushed it properly I drop it to the floor, right on that oversized x. It makes a high pitched clinging sound when it hits, and I'm amazed at how I feel nothing.

I stare at it a moment, the twisted and raw metal seemingly echoing my soul, and then turn away, making my way to the garage.

My way to my mustang is loaded to its' max with the things I've deemed important enough to keep. My books, cloths, my music, and all the money I've managed to save. Latter I'll close my accounts and put my money someplace else under a different name. I'll make a new id and lose myself in the world.

The underground channels I helped to create, I've helped to operate, won't help me. I can be trace in them. I'll have to stick to the more main stream ways of disappearing. A little risky, especially with Ekhart, Ashlock, my family, and now Mutant X all hunting for me, but if I can make it to Mexico or Africa I'll be ok.

As I pull out of Sanctuary I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do. But for right now I just let the road take me.


	2. Chapter 2

The only place that was open at three am was The Key Stone Pub; a small bar and grill that was on the corner of a run-down looking strip mall in a shady part of the city. Most people avoided this part of town like the death but tonight it was the only place that Jesse wanted to be. For years he had been coming to this Pub for one soul reason, Kathy Stone.

Kathy was a new mutant that he had met when he first joined Mutant X. She was a mind reader, kind of like Emma, as well as a molecular. Her molecular power was what had attracted Jesse to her. It was focused on air and using air to move objects around, and for some reason this attracted Jesse's powers as well as Jesse's body.

It was a physical attraction at first, one that was about sex, but it had developed into a pure, though dysfunctional, friendship. Kathy expected nothing from Jesse and asked for nothing and it was the same for Jesse. Whenever they were together all of Jesse's 'good boy' behavior seemed to disappear and he became a whole other person. She provided a necessary outlet for his pent up emotions and never once judged him.

That was exactly what Jesse was looking for tonight.

He walked into the Pub and saw that there were still several people left, among them a few cops finishing up a late meal, a few cupules staying out really late and several drunks nearly passed out. Behind the counter, cleaning glasses was a red head, a little on the short side and curvy, with bright blue eyes and milk white skin. She was as beautiful as she was lively and dangerous.

Jesse knew that for a fact.

She had her back to the entrance but turned when Jesse came in, a smile already in place and her hands reaching for a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass.

"Hello there stranger. Just passing through or did you get a 'get out of Sanctuary free' card?" she asked as Jesse took one of the empty bar stoles.

Jesse gave tired smile and accepted the full shot glass, but he didn't respond. He downed the whiskey in one gulp then placed the glass down in front of Kathy.

Kathy, for her part, studied the man in front of her taking in everything that he was radiating. There was emptiness inside him and a weight that she had rarely seen before. Her eyes scanned his body as she poured him another round and took in his hollowed look. But it wasn't the fact that he looked half dead that stuck out the most to her; it was the absence of a silver ring on his right ring finger.

"You're signal again?" she asked, handing him back the glass. She waited as he gulped down the second shot and was not disappointed.

"I've deiced that Sanctuary is not my home after all," Jesse said softly as he toyed with the glass in his hand. There was a long pause before he placed the glass down again and accepted another shot. As he watched the dark honey colored liquid fill the glass he said, "I'm leaving Kathy, after tonight I won't be back."

Kathy was quite for a minuet. She wasn't surprised about Jesse's announcement, she had a feeling she had known about his feelings way before he was willing to admit them. She was just surprised that it had taken him so long to make the decision.

"Do they know yet?" she asked him, with a hint of aggression on the 'they.'

Kathy had never really like Mutant X, always finding them to goody-goody and holier then thou for her taste. There was no doubt in her mind that they did good work, and that they were needed. She had helped them several times with hiding new mutants and providing transport into the underground. But just because she agreed with what they were doing didn't mean she had to like them.

She didn't know why she didn't like them really. I mean, the god-like persona they put out was just an excuse. She had a feeling though, that it had to do with the fact that Jesse had been falling into a downward spiral since Emma and especially Brennan joined the team. And that Mutant X was slowly driving Jesse into his death.

She waited until he had downed his poison for a reply.

"They'll find out in the morning, or whenever they wake up. Shalimar and Brennan are getting married and they all were up a little late celebrating," Jesse said, watching as she poured him another.

"Not you?" Kathy asked.

"Nope…" he paused to down his drink… "I told them I had a head ach and went to bed early." There was another pause as Jesse put the glass down, this time rim down, "He's finally done it Kathy. He's finally driven me away."

The two fell silent. There was no need for Jesse to say more or for Kathy to say anything. He hadn't come looking for sympathy, and he wasn't there looking for someone to cuddle him. He was there because he wanted action, because he wanted to feel. He was there because he was on the edge of loseing it and needed someone to pull him back. He was there so he wouldn't have to face the build up of emotions in him just yet. He wanted, needed, someone to chase away the black numbness that was beckoning his soul to the void of living death. He was there because he trusted Kathy.

"It's closing time! Everybody out of the pool!" Kathy yelled, startling the rest of her patrons and the few waiters that she had left. "Frank, Devon, your keys stay, you go in a cab. Rest of you get out and I'll see you latter."

Jesse gave her a smile of gratitude; she always knew what to do.

* * *

Kathy lay motionless, her head resting on Jesse's chest. He was asleep and had been for awhile. His arms were draped around her, holding her gently in a knowing embrace that never failed to make her feel safe. That made her feel respected.

Every time she slept with Jesse she felt like a lady when other guys left her feeling like a slut. That was just Jesse, the way he was. He had been a constant rock in her life for a long time now and one she had always taken for granted. So now, as she pictured life without him she felt a stab of grief slash through her body.

Life with out Jesse meant life without a very close friend. It meant life without a man who knew her booth inside and out. She felt like she was losing a piece of her soul, and maybe that's why she was still awake watching him; ingraining every detail of his angelic face.

The pain and emptiness from earlier were gone now. Several hours of sex will do that for a person. And now Jesse looked as he always did after he spent sometime with her; calm, collected, and alive. Mutant X had taken so much from him; people had taken so much from him. He was always looked at as the good dependable person, the one that you always knew would be right there when you needed him. The one you always took for granted and never knew the value of until you were faced with life without them. She felt tears building up in her and knew that when he left her apartment today she would cry like she was morning the dead. She wondered if Mutant X would feel the same way. Had they even notice that he was gone yet?

Jesse sighed and his body shifted under the sheets, brining her attention back to the here and now. She smiled watching him trying to wake up and felt her hart flutter as his blue eyes opened and a smile broke the stillness of his face.

"Hello…" he mumbled as he pushed himself up ad leaned against the head board. The sheet that had been covering him slipped down the length of his body until it came to rest just before it exposed him completely. Kathy watched it hungrily, disappointed that it stayed in place.

The look on her face didn't go unnoticed by the blond and he laughed a lively, boyish sound that caused shivers to run down her spine. With one quick motion she close the gap between them and all her worries from a moment ago was forgotten.

* * *

Shalimar awoke from a pleasant slumber with a sigh. She wasn't sure what had awoken her, but she felt a sort of oddness with in her. Next to her, with his arms draped around her waist, was Brennan. Shal smiled as she studied the man that had stolen her hart. He looked so peaceful lying here in their bed, and she couldn't help but feel lucky.

For one of the fist times in a long time her life had being going right. She had a family that truly loved her, a man that would do anything for her and a job where she knew she was doing good. Life was good. The only down side to everything was Jesse.

There was something bothering him and had been for awhile now. What it was, she hadn't a clue. But she'd been sensing a growing hostility in the younger man as well as a growing unease and caged feeling. She got the sense that he wanted to run and would eventually. That he felt like Sanctuary was becoming a prison and everyone inside it was turning against him. Like tonight for example, when they were celebrating. Jesse had turned in early claming he had a head ach. But there was something in his manner that suggested otherwise. And it hurt Shalimar to think that she may have caused those feelings.

No longer able to sleep, Shalimar expertly removed herself from Brennan's hold and made her way out of their room. She took a moment at he door to study the room and try to remember when her room had become theirs'. She smiled when she couldn't and came to the decision that it really didn't matter.

As she lingered though, her mind drifting from happy memory to happy memory, that peg of weirdness came back. It was such a strange feeling, that it caused her to frown. Every instinct told her something was wrong, but she couldn't smell anything wrong, she couldn't see anything wrong, and she really couldn't place a finger on what was bothering her. So she started walking.

Whenever her mind was troubled she liked to go to the grand entranceway. It was her belief that the place she received her ring was the place that her life truly began and it made her feel safe. That was where she tiptoed her way to now.

When she reached the room she encountered a coldness that she had never felt there before. There was the sent in the air of fading anger and she wondered at it. Instantly she felt her body turn into her feral self, her Mr. Hyde. Her eyes glowed gold and she cautiously moved through the room, looking for the intruder who disturbed her place of peace.

She was scanning the halls, completely focused on the shadows when her foot hit something small but solid. She bent down to pick it up and brought it eye level.

There was enough light in the room for her to make out the object, and once her mind had distinguished what it had once been, there was no way for her to stop the tears that escaped like a flood.

For in her palm was a mangled, crushed silver ring that still had Jesse's sent clinging to it.


	3. Chapter 3

Shalimar was too stunned to move. Suddenly everything came crashing down around her. Her perfect world had just been shattered wide open by a single smashed ring. She started to shake and fell to her knees; she didn't need to go looking for Jesse to know that he was gone. She could already feel it, hell she was holding the proof in the palm of her hand. The twisted and mangled ring…it had taken a lot of force to damage it…it had taken a lot of anger. She didn't know how long she stayed there, could have been an hour, could have been a minuet. All she could remember was walking quietly to her room and changing into her street cloths before sneaking out of Sanctuary.

The sun was just coming up outside. It drew a beautiful picture of the day to come; warm, sunny, inviting, and totally oblivious to the storm brewing inside Mutant X. This early in the morning there was only one place Shal could think of that Jesse would be, and it rubbed her completely the wrong way.

Kathy Stone was, in her mind, an obnoxious little shit, who was too reckless, too stubborn, and too cocky for anyone's good. But Jesse had always been taken with her, yet another example of how her 'little brother' was too trusting and innocent for the world. She had begged him several thousand times not to see her anymore, even going so far as to set him up with Emma and other girls she felt fit him better. Each time he had only gotten angry and told her to butt out. Each time he had gone back to Kathy. And each time Shal had to fight the erg to go and drag him home. Now she could only hope that he was there.

The pub was closed, not surprisingly, when Shal pulled up. She parked her Harley by a street lamp and walked around to the back door in the ally. Whatever she though about Kathy, she couldn't deny the fact that Kathy was a valuable ally to the under ground. Inside her bar she had hidden and added countless new mutants, never losing a single one to Eckhart.

The back door into Kathy's pub appeared to be a normal, every day kind of door that opens only from the kitchen. The only abnormality to it was the giant X that marked it as a mutant x safe house. But as Shalimar approached it, she saw a panel to one side of the door, hidden by the dumpster.

That panel was probably the best innovation that Jesse had ever created. Using existing security technology, he created a security panel that did two things; first, made sure that the person was a mutant, and second, made sure they weren't a GSA agent. Tiny DNA tracers in the panel traced profiled the DNA in the skin of the mutant and matched it to the mutation or mutant in Adam's files, then it searched through the GSA files to make sure there was no match to any GSA agent. Jesse had hacked into Genomex and stolen those files, leaving behind what he called a 'file thief' to make sure the program was updated regularly. He had done such a brilliant job that the fools still hadn't noticed the hack.

Shalimar placed her hand on the panel and in a minuet the kitchen entrance swung open, allowing her to enter. Instantly her eyes adjusted to the darkness as the door closed softly behind her. She made her way towards the main dinning room, stopping just before she reached it. To her right was a locked staircase that lead up to the building two upper floors. The second floor was basically a guest house, completely furnished while the third floor was Shalimar's goal. That was where Kathy was, and hopefully Jesse.

As silently as a mouse, Shalimar ascended the stairs, past the second floor landing, straight up to the third floor landing. She was greeted by a closed door and the sounds of a piano being played. There were voices too, Kathy's and Jesse's, and though the piano covered up the conversation she could tell it was serious. It didn't matter what they were talking about though, not only could Shal hear Jesse, but she could smell him through the door and that was enough for her.

She knocked, hard, on the door. Inside the apartment the piano stopped and she could hear Kathy say, "It's probably just a bum from the ally or a new mutant for the under ground don't worry."

Her voice had gotten louder and Shal knew she was going to be the one to answer the door, so she took a position partly in the doorway, to insure Kathy didn't slam the door on her. Not a moment to soon, for as soon as she was settled, Kathy opened up.

Kathy looked at her for a second, a little surprised before regaining her cool exterior and saying, "Well I was right about the bum part."

"Who is it?" Jesse called from farther in the apartment and Shal could hear him moving closer.

"You better let me in Kathy," Shal hissed angrily locking eyes on the red head.

Kathy was unimpressed and matched the feral's tone, "This is my apartment, and we are both two consenting adults in here."

"Let her in Kathy, please?" Jesse asked, now standing in Shalimar's line of vision. He was dressed in only a pair of jeans and had obviously had a shower recently because his hair was still wet.

Kathy rolled her eyes and shrugged, giving into Jesse's request. Shalimar gave a triumphed smirk to the red head as she entered that didn't go unnoticed by Jesse and he felt his anger start to rise.

"Don't get comfortable Shalimar, you'll be leaving soon," he said as Kathy exited the room.

"Call me if you need anything," she said tonelessly, but there was no doubt in Shal's mind that the girl was gloating.

Shalimar didn't really care, she'd put the girl in her place latter, right now there was more important things to take care of. She locked eyes with Jesse, searching him for any clues to his behavior. She couldn't find anything but cold, dead eyes; something she had never seen in him before and it scarred her.

With out breaking eye contact she pulled Jesse's ring from her pocket and tossed it to him. Jesse caught the mangled metal with ease. He didn't look at it, he didn't even blink as he closed his hand around it and massed the limb; effectively crushing the remainder of the ring into dust.

Shalimar stared dumb founded for a good minuet, unable to believe what she had just witnessed. She had hoped it had been a mistake. That Jesse had just gotten frustrated with something and reached a breaking point. That after several hours away from home he had calmed down and was ready to talk. Apparently not.

"Why?" she finally breathed, the word getting stuck in her throat so that she had to choke it out. Her eyes had started to tear as she looked up into Jesse, and her face had gone from strong feral to weak and abused kitten. But Jesse was unimpressed.

"Sanctuary is no longer my home. Mutant X is no…" Jesse took a deep breath and Shal realized he was putting all his energy into remaining emotionless and cold. "Mutant X is no longer my family."

Shal was wounded. She was physically hurt by what Jesse had just said and it took all of her feral stubbornness to remain standing and not break right then and there. "Jess…why…? I don't understand…."

It was Jesse's turn to look hurt and Shalimar saw clearly through his façade to the destroyed soul inside and then it was gone. Just as quickly as it had come, the hole in Jesse's façade was closed and he was back to being cold. "If you don't know by now, then why should I tell you? You obviously don't care."

Now that the shock had worn off of Shalimar, the anger started to set in and her eyes glowed, "How the hell am I suppose to know what's inside your head when the only thing you spend time with anymore is your damn computer?!"

Jesse's eyes widened and he cocked his head to the side slightly, keeping his voice calm and leveled he responded, "The computer never lied to me. The computer never forgot about me, never replaced me with someone else."

Shalimar's jaw dropped as it suddenly all made sense to her. Jesse's growing distance, his growing frustration, and his leaving… he was jealous of Brennan. It all made sense, and it was so crystal clear it made her laugh. She couldn't help herself, she just laughed. It was slightly bewildering to Jesse, but he said nothing, he just stood there watching her.

When she could finally speak she said, "How mature of you, how oh so mature of you. Instead of talking to me, instead of telling me you just kept it inside. You stayed silent and then you run off in the middle of the night. Learn that from trick from your father didn't you?" The last part was hissed with as much venom as she could put into it. She wanted it to hurt him, to stab into him and tare his hart open. It worked, but not the way she thought it would. Instead of getting defensive or getting hurt, Jesse got angry. He got so angry that he didn't just ball his fists, he massed them.

"I think you better leave Shalimar," Kathy said from the doorway to the room she had disappeared to, "Now."

Shalimar looked from one to the other as realization of what she had just done hit her. She of all people should have known better then to use Jesse's confidence against him?

"Jesse," she said pleadingly, "Jesse I'm sorry…I'm…"

"Shut up Shalimar," he hissed, fists still massed and his body shaking from the effort to keep from hitting her. "I'm only going to tell you this because you were my first honest friend and you deserve some kind of answer for that. I didn't leave because of Brennan, I left because I couldn't stand it in there anymore. I left because I wasn't needed and was nothing but a fifth wheel. I left because everything I was, everything I had, is gone. It doesn't matter why, it doesn't matter what; it's over. There is nothing that you or Adam or Emma or Brennan can do or say to get me to go back. Sanctuary is not my home. Mutant X is not my family, they aren't even friends. I'm done with it all. You all have to find a new punching bag and a new whipping boy. Now get out."

Too stunned and hurt to respond, Shalimar did as told and left the apartment. She numbly descended the steps to the kitchen then made her way to her bike. She was a mile Sanctuary before she had to pull over and throw up. Once she had stopped, she curled herself into a ball and started to weep.

In the comfort and safety of the trees that she knew so well, she broke down.


	4. Chapter 4

Shalimar left Kathy and Jesse in a strained and tense silence. Kathy stood in the doorway and watched Jesse. She could sense the turmoil inside him and feel his anger and grief battling for control. She knew that she should help Jesse; that she should offer him some kind of comfort, but she didn't know how. That wasn't there relationship. She had never been the one to cuddle Jesse; she had never been the one to be a 'rock'. She had chased away his demons time and time again, but she doubted that sex would chase this away. So there she was, standing in the doorway of her bedroom watching her lover slowly implode on himself and not having a clue as to what to do.

Thankfully though, Jesse came to the rescue. He took several deep and calming breaths as he forced his tense body to relax and managed to un-mass his hands. He slowly turned away from her and made his way to her sun room where her baby grand was. A few minuets latter the piano came to life, sending beautiful notes drifting through the air. It wasn't the same song he had been playing earlier; this one was slow and heavy. She didn't recognize the tune and she'd bet her lease that it was one Jesse had written.

She gave a sigh of relief as she listened to the song. Jesse was healing himself for the time being. So for the time being she could think of away to 'cuddle' him.

* * *

When Brennan woke up he wasn't surprised to see Shalimar gone. He had grown use to the feral's nightly prowls and was actually amused by them. After dragging himself out of bed he made his way to the shower and managed to get cleaned up and dressed without coffee. A quick glance at the digital alarm clock told him that it was about eight in the morning and something about the time made him frown.

It wasn't the fact that it was latter then he normally woke up, after last night that was to be expected. It was the fact that no body else was up that was bothering him. Usually he could hear one or more of them moving around the halls. Not that they were loud or anything, it's just he always noticed them. After all, his team mates were quite and all, but they weren't that quite, especially Jesse.

Jesse…the thorn in his side as of late. After Hillviwe he thought everything was cool between them. He thought Jesse had accepted his apology and that things we go back to normal. Apparently though they wouldn't. Jesse had, had a stick up his ass for the last month. He had been increasingly cold and distant from the rest of the team and even more so to Brennan. There were days when he acted as if Brennan didn't exist. And last night he had walked out on the celebration with out even a word of congratulation. His whole behavior was starting to irate Brennan and he knew that it was hurting Shalimar.

With a sigh Brennan headed down the halls of Sanctuary to the dojo where he thought that Shalimar might be. Shal always ended her prowls with a visit to the dojo and the holograms that would give her a chance to work off that feral restlessness. That was shy he was very confused to find that she wasn't there.

'That's strange…' he thought as he began to search Sanctuary for his missing fiancé. After an half hour of looking without a sign of her, he decided to ask Jesse if he had seen her at all. He knew it was a long shot, Jesse had clamed to have had a head ach, but if Brennan knew Jesse he had spent the night on his computers and was only now just getting to sleep. Normally it would bother him to wake the younger mutant up when he knew he had just gotten some sleep, knowing that the kid could use all the rest he could get, however he was still ticked with him about yesterday and decided it was Jesse's own fault if he didn't get enough sleep.

He made his way briskly to Jesse's room and knocked on the door, hard. "Up and Adam Jess," he said, annoyingly cheerful as he opened the door. He expected the blond to throw a pillow at him, or to snap at him. He wasn't expecting to find that Jesse had packed up and left.


	5. Chapter 5

"We have to go looking for them! We can't just stay here and do nothing!" Brennan exclaimed as he paced around the control room, his agitation growing with each step. As soon as he had found Jesse's room emptied he had woken Emma and Adam; explaining to them his mornings activities. Now the three were gathered in the control room, Emma doing her best not to let Brennan get to her, Brennan doing his best to work himself up, and Adam was doing his best to locate Shalimar and Jesse.

"Calm down Brennan, you're not helping…" Emma hissed, rubbing her temples. It was too early for this.

"Calm down?! How the hell am I suppose to calm down when Shal is out there and I have no clue where?!"

"Jesse's missing too, or did you forget about him?" Emma snapped.

"Yeah and by the looks of it he's packed up and walked out! And I say good riddance, if he isn't man enough to stick around, who needs him? But he could have at least said something so Shal wouldn't freak and go looking for him!"

Emma could really feel her blood start to boil; she of all people knew the emotions that had been running through Jesse though he tried to hide it. And now, listening to Brennan she wondered at why he hadn't left before this. "You know, I can't understand why Jesse would leave, I mean with a class act guy like you here!" she snapped at him, rising to her feet.

Before Brennan could retaliate, Adam broke them up, "Separate corners both of you. Right now the last thing I need is you two turning on each other. Jesse and Shalimar are gone, for whatever reason they're gone. Shal's ring is off and Jesse's doesn't even exist anymore. In fact, according to the computers Jesse never existed. When he left, he wiped everything in the database about him clean."

A stunned silence filled the room as the implications of what Adam said sunk in. Jesse hadn't only walked out, he had erased himself. He had completely removed himself from Mutant X. He didn't want them anymore.

"We have to find Shal…she'll know where Jesse is and then we can talk to him…" Brennan began, but he was interrupted by the sudden arrival of Shalimar.

"There isn't any talking to him…" Shal said, her voice so broken and raw and her expression so devastated that it left everyone speechless. Shalimar for her part ignored Brennan and Emma and zeroed in on Adam. "I messed up Adam," she said, her voice cracking slightly. "He's not coming back…he's never going to come back…."

* * *

Brennan stood outside Keystone Pub trying to keep his temper under control. He was just here to talk, nothing else, even if all he wanted to do was beat the crap out of Jesse and drag him back to Sanctuary.

After Shalimar had been calmed down somewhat, she had told them how she had awoken to find Jesse gone and then left in search of him. She told them of the encounter at Kathy's home and what Jesse had told her. She told them that Jesse was done with Mutant X and that he never wanted to see them again. And then she broke down, and Emma was still trying to get her to clam down.

After Emma had guided Shal back to her room, the boys had stood there staring at thin air, to stunned to do anything. For several minuets they had just sat there staring blankly until Adam mumbled something about going to the lab. Brennan swore that the scientist had aged ten years in front of him. Brennan could feel frustration and anger rising in him in response to the feelings of confusion and betrayal that had formed. So he did the only thing he knew how to when his emotions were strong, he went in search of something to beat the shit out of.

Two hours latter, he had maxed out his time with the holograms and didn't even feel a little bit better. He got a quick shower and a change of clothes then made his way to check on Shal. Halfway to her room, Emma met him.

"I had to knock her," Emma said before Brennan could even ask. "She's hysterical and I don't think it would be a good idea to wake her."

Without thinking Brennan spat out, "Damn it Jesse what have you done?"

"What has Jesse done?" Emma hissed, her eyes flashing, "What has Jesse done? What have you done Brennan? Better yet, what haven't you done? You called Jesse your best friend, your brother, yet you failed to notice what was going on inside his head! You and Shal were too absorbed in each other and Adam and I were too absorbed in each other that none of us noticed Jesse was self destructing!"

"He never said anything! He just walked out!" Brennan responded.

"Jesse never says anything!" Emma snapped, "His family taught him that, remember?! Don't talk about what's wrong, it's not posh! He's been angry and hurt since we got you out of Hilviwe and it's only gotten worse since rescuing Morrison! But he's been slipping away from us long before Hilviwe, and nobody noticed! Or nobody thought it important enough to talk to him about, not even me! Well, now we've noticed, now we know that Jesse was upset, that he was pissed off, and now it's too late!" she finished as tears started to fall, and before Brennan could find his voice she had fled to her room.

Sensing that everything was falling apart, Brennan went to find the only person that he knew could put things back together. So that was how he found himself standing outside of the Key Stone Pub, watching Jesse and Kathy jokingly chasing each other around the pub. There he was, the oh so hurt Jesse, laughing it up like he was a teenager. The oh so hurt Jesse, the oh so misunderstood Jesse was looking just fine from where Brennan was standing. Screw his damn temper, Jesse was going down.

* * *

Kathy had just run squealing into the kitchen after Jesse had sprayed her with the fountain water. The two had been cleaning up the bar, preparing for the lunch and evening rush, when Kathy had started an all out war. Using one of the soda tabs, she sprayed Jesse, soaking his back completely. Jess had retaliated by taking handfuls of ice and dumping them down her shirt. It had all gone down hill from there.

Now Jesse leaned against the bar laughing hysterically as he listened to Kathy making empty threats. He didn't hear Brennan until the older man cleared his throat behind him. Jesse spun around and instantly his face went from carefree to emotionless as he met Brennan's angry glare.

"What are you doing here?" Jesse challenged, as he took a few steps towards Brennan.

"I came to talk to you, to see if there was anything I could do…guess not," Brennan replied icily, walking towards Jesse until he was only a few feet away.

"Get out of here Brennan, I told Shalimar everything I had to say, and there's nothing I have to say to you," Jesse stated dryly, unimpressed.

"Oh, but I have something to say to you," was the reply. Jesse just turned to leave, but he was stopped when Brennan grabbed hold of his arm. "I'm talking!"

"You're always talking! You're always ordering! And I'm always listening!" Jesse yelled spinning on his heels and breaking Brennan's hold on him. "Well now I'm done!"

"You're such a spoiled brat! What's the matter things got to tough so you're running home to mommy dearest and your money?! You going to run to the rich and easy life"

Jesse's eyes flashed at the insult and a look came over him that Brennan had never seen before. If he hadn't been so angry, Brennan might have been scared. This was the second time in one day that a Mutant X member had used his family against him, and for Jesse, who kept the horrid secretes of his past safely away, this was the breaking point.

"My mother tried to kill me…" Jesse said deadly soft, as his body shifted into a battle ready position, eyes locked on Brennan. "And just because I'm rich, doesn't mean my life was easy."

By now Brennan had sensed the change in Jesse, for he too had slipped into his relaxed form of his fighting stance. He could feel the anger radiating from Jesse, the controlled rage that the smaller man was building up. But Brennan was to much the tough guy to back down from what he had started. "It wasn't?" he sneered, "Then what's your excuse for being a push over?"

That was the last insult Brennan would spit at Jesse. The instant the words were out of his mouth, Jesse's fist hit him square in the jaw. The blow caught him completely off guard and caused him to stumble back. Before he had a chance to recover, Jesse had sent a serious of blows to his stomach and face, each one finding their target and weakening the big man.

Brennan sunk to his knees, knowing Jesse wouldn't hit him if he was down, just so he could catch his breath. He watched Jesse from the corner of his eye and a new found respect for the power of the younger mutant. Jesse was edge and on high alert, his eyes completely focused on Brennan and watching every move the older mutant made. There was a determined set to his face, like he was trying to prove something and he probably was. His fists were clenched so tight that they were almost massing. But the most frightening thing was the cold, dead set to Jesse's eyes. It was like Hilviwe all over again, but with Jesse as the amped up mutant.

Slowly Brennan rose to his feet and turned to face Jesse. The two began to dance a boxer's dance and the circled around each other, walking on the balls of their feet. Brennan was the first to act this time, lunging at Jesse. Though startled, the molecular was use to these kind of tactics and quickly recovered enough to phase, sending Brennan crashing to the floor. Brennan was up in a flash and sent a spark ball at Jesse's right leg. It his the blond in the knee, and this time Jesse stumbled right into Brennan's fist.

As Jesse had, Brennan rained blow after blow down on the younger mutant, trying to get as many as he could in before Jesse phased. He didn't get that many in. By the fifth punch, Jesse was recovered enough to use his powers, but he didn't phase as Brennan had believed he would. Instead, Brennan's fist struck Jesse's hard diamond shell. He stumbled back, clutching his injured hand as Jesse took the opportunity to breath.

As the pain crept up his arm, Brennan focused everything he had into a lightning bolt and sent it flying in Jesse's direction. Still out of breath, Jesse flung himself to the floor, the bolt missing him by inches. As he moved to stand, Brennan was there, kicking him in the stomach and flipping him onto his back.

As Brennan started to send another kick to Jesse's stomach, the blond grabbed his foot and through Brennan off balance, bringing the big man down. It took Jesse only seconds to get Brennan into a head lock, though he doubted that he could keep the bigger man there long. Luckily though, Kathy intervened.

"What the hell is going on here?!" she yelled as she took a look around her nearly destroyed pub. Her eyes fell onto the two former teammates and Jesse felt Brennan flinch under her gaze. He didn't blame him either, Kathy was pissed. "That's enough," she barked, "Jesse get off him and both of you stand up."

The two men did as they were told, and as soon as they were on their feet they stepped far out of each other's reach.

"Do you want to explain to me, why you decided to tare up my pub?" Kathy hissed, eyes going from one to the other.

"It was my fault Kathy, I lost my temper," Jesse said, his eyes locking on the red heads. Kathy looked him over for a moment, her face softening. It didn't stay soft for Brennan though, and she turned her gaze to him.

"And what would make Jesse lose his temper so where he would throw the first blow?" She asked and as Brennan opened his mouth to defend himself she waved him silent. "You know what? I don't care. This is my pub, Jess is my friend, and he is welcome here as long as he wants to stay. You however, and the rest of your goody-goody team can stay the hell away. The only member of Mutant X I want to see on my property is Emma, and even then only if she has a mutant for the underground. Got it?"

Unable to speak, Brennan nodded. It seemed to satisfy Kathy though, and she continued.

"Good, make sure Adam and the feral get it too. Now get out. I want to see the back of you," she declared, her Irish accent kicking in for the full affect of her temper.

Brennan cast one last look at Jesse, who just stared at him, then left defeated. Jesse was truly gone and he now knew that by coming here, he had only made things worse.

As the door shut on Brennan's back, Kathy turned to Jesse, arms crossed and Irish temper flaring. "You know this means you're buying me new tables and chairs right?"

The rage that had infected Jesse earlier went into remission at her statement and he started to laugh. He laughed from relife, he laughed for release, he laughed because he was tiered. Mosthly though he laughed so he wouldn't brake down.


	6. Chapter 6

A month had passed since Jesse left and things were hard for Mutant X.

Adam hadn't even bothered to look for a replacement for Jesse, it would make it final and he couldn't do that. The scientist had retreated into his lab, avoiding all contact with the others as much as possible. He didn't eat, he didn't sleep, and not even Emma could convince him to talk. He was treating Jesse's departure as if it was a death.

Shalimar and Brennan weren't talking. Kathy had called to make sure Adam knew what had happened and when Shalimar heard about the fight she refused to even look at Brennan. Shalimar was a wreck. She had withdrawn from everyone and, when they weren't on missions, spent her days crying in Jesse's room and her nights on the prowl. Brennan was spending a lot of time in the dojo and trying not to think about things. He was angry at Jesse, he was angry at Shalimar, and he was pissed at himself. He was watching everyone that he held dear to him slip away and the happy life he had fall apart with no idea how to stop or reverse it.

So far the only one remotely holding it together was Emma, and even then it was hard. The emotions she was bombarded with at Sanctuary were starting to drive her mad and the distant feelings from Jesse were devastating. But still, she was luckier then the others, she was still able to see Jesse. She had stopped by Kathy's several times with new mutants and each time she had seen Jesse. Still though, there was a strained tension between the two. There latest encounter had gone something like this;

"Another one Emma?" Kathy said as she opened the door to her apartment.

Emma gave her an apologetic smile, "Yeah, I know. But since that lab was destroyed we've been packing them in." Emma was referring to the Genomex lab that Mutant X had raided the past week. They had freed the new mutants imprisoned there and currently had most of the safe houses filled.

"Well, come on in," Kathy said as she stepped out of the way to allow Emma and a young, scared looking girl to walk in. "Hi," Kathy said addressing the new mutant, "I'm Kathy, and the lump over there is Jesse," she added looking over at Jess who was still seated on the floor by the chess board. But he smiled and stood when Kathy addressed him. "Why don't you and I head down to the apartment and I'll show you around, alright?"

The girl nodded, wordlessly, and allowed Kathy to lead her out. As they passed by Emma she said, "I'll catch up in a moment, alright?" Kathy gave her a warning look but nodded and soon Jesse and Emma were left alone.

"How you doing Jesse?" Emma asked after a few moments of awkward silence.

"I'm fine," was the brisk reply, "How's everything with you?"

Emma sighed and leaned against the wall, "It's not going so well. Adam won't come out of the lab, Brennan and Shalimar won't talk to each other. Shal's withdrawn from everyone. Brennan's getting angrier, and angrier. Things are going crazy with the GSA and Ashlock…we're hurting."

Emma felt a peg of guilt escape Jesse, but it was quickly suppressed and she could just imagine the inner turmoil inside her friend's head. "I'm sorry Jess, I don't mean to…"

"It's alright, don't worry about it Emma," Jesse said cutting her off, "I understand, it's my fault, got it."

"Jesse, I didn't mean that…I mean…" Emma quickly replied.

"Emma, don't lie to me. You've never lied to me, don't start now. Please?"

With a deep sigh Emma nodded her head, "Yeah, it's your fault," she finally agreed, the first signs of anger flaring to life. "Though you don't think it, you were very much apart of Mutant X and it hurts that you're gone. Worse of all, it's destroying us; the guilt, the anger, the frustration, and the hurt. Is it to much to ask why?"

"I was apart of Mutant X," Jesse corrected her, "I was until Brennan replaced me, and don't say that that's a lie. You know it's not. I'm tired of it Emma, I'm tired of being the baby. I'm tired of nobody believing that I'm capable of anything more then hacking into databases. I'm tired of being used. I want to be treated as more then a tool that can be shoved into a closet when it's not needed. I'm being selfish, immature, I know, but this has been building and you above all know it."

Emma was quite for a moment, and she refused to look at Jesse while she fought to get her emotions under control. What hurt so much was that there was no anger in his voice; if there had been anger she could have said he was over reacting. But there wasn't any, just an honest tiredness that aged him considerably. This wasn't an angry Jesse acting childishness out of spit to hurt them, these was a hurt Jesse acting out of pain trying to save himself. The fact that it took her this long was just a testament to blind she was. And the realization hurt.

"I'm sorry Jess," Emma said in earnest, "I know it's to late, but I'm sorry."

That was the last thing said between them as she left the apartment. Now Emma sat in Jesse's former room and just looked around at the many pictures he had left behind. The broken frames that laid where he had thrown them, the torn papers that had once held silly notes between he and Shalimar. The nothing that was slowly ebbing it's way through out Sanctuary.

And for the first time since Jesse she mourned his lost like the death of a friend.

* * *

While Mutant X mourned and Jesse fought with himself, people were plotting.

At the moment Emma was sitting in Jesse's room crying, Ashlock was standing outside a Mutant X safe house with several of his followers. Their mission tonight was quite simple, capture as many new recruits as they can and use them to draw out Mutant X.

"There are seven new mutants inside sir," said a young blond woman with x-ray vision.

"That'll do just fine. Adam's bleeding heart's crew would come out for half a mutant. Kenny, you've done well on your first mission," Ashlock said to a timid figure behind him.

"You're not going to hurt them badly are you? Mutant X got me out of the Genomex…" the pathetic man said.

Ashlock sighed and put his arm around Kenny, "Kenny, I turn no new mutant away, all are welcome in my fold and I would never hurt a new mutant. I only wish to capture Mutant X because Adam Kane has lead them astray. Though he seems like a good and noble doctor, he is no better then those at Genomex. I seek not to hurt them, but to save them."

Kenny breathed a sigh of relief and gave Ashlock a bashful smile, "I'm sorry I doubted you Gabriel, I just wanted to be sure…."

"I understand, your loyalty will serve you well," Ashlock said, looking in Kenny's eyes. There was a moment when their eyes met, that both sets glowed and Kenny seemed to become a zombie and then the moment passed.

"Now then, shall we get to work?" Ashlock said to the others.


	7. Chapter 7

**Important:** please reread the last part of Chapter 6 because I changed it, yet again.

As always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoy.

Tye.

(PS, sorry that it's so short, the next chapter will be longer and I'll have it up in a week.)

* * *

"Shalimar, Brennan, Emma; I need you in the control center now!" Adam's voice came franticly over the com system and in a mater of minutes the three members of Mutant X were gathered around him.

"What's up?" Brennan asked, seemingly annoyed. He had been in an intense sparring match with a hologram of Jesse and wasn't thrilled with being pulled away.

"Safe house twenty eight is under attack, the message that Kris got off was brief but she got enough out to let me know it's Ashlock. I need you three there now; we don't have a lot of time."

"We're on our way," Brennan called as they headed for the Helix.

It took them ten minutes to arrive at the safe house, on the way they had formed a plan and were seemingly ready for anything. Emma would go in first and set up a mental shield to keep Ashlock and anyone else out of their heads. Brennan and Shalimar would then come in and take down anyone and everyone. It was a good plan on the surface, but if you looked closely it involved a lot of luck.

Unfortunately for Mutant X, Ashlock was looking closely.

Inside the safe house it looked like a bomb had gone off. The house was almost completely destroyed; there were holes in the drywall where people or things had been tossed through it. The ceiling was cracked and had plaster falling from it. Not a single chair or shelf was untouched. There was the smell of smoke and, worse yet, blood thick in the air. To top it all ff, it was disturbingly still.

"There's no one here…" Emma said as she cast her mind out.

"Are you sure?" Brennan asked.

"She's right," Shal supported, her eyes flashing gold, "I can't smell anyone."

"Adam," Brennan said into his com, "We're too lat…"

But before he could get his last word out Emma gave a blood curtailing scream.

"Brennan, I didn't hear you….Can you repeat what you said?...Brennan, can you repeat?...Brennan are you there?...Shalimar…Emma…Are you there?"

"Oh, they're heat Adam," Ashlock's sadistic voice said over the com, "But they won't be for long. I f you want them back, you know what the price is."

With that, he was gone and Adam was left horrified.


	8. Chapter 8

See, I told you it'd be longer. And I did get it up in about a week...I think...anyways enjoy.

Tye

* * *

It was a late night for Kathy and Jesse.

After Emma had left, Jesse had fallen into a sullen mood and had with drawn into himself. Kathy, unwilling to let him brood, had forced him to come out with her. Since it was a Monday and she didn't have to open the pub, she decided to head over to a horse farm that her friend owned. They most of the night racing though the horse trails, enjoying the freedom and energy that the ride offered.

Now, as they approached the Pub, Jesse was in a better mood, and able to think clearer then he had been for awhile. "Kathy," he said as he parked the car in the Pub's ally way, "I've been thinking."

"That could be dangerous," she cracked as she gave him her full attention.

Jesse smiled and turned off the engine, "I have to thank you for all that you've done for me. I owe more then I could ever hope to repay."

"You owe me nothing Jess. You know that."

"Yeah, so you keep saying…but Kathy, it's too hard to stay here. I have to leave Kathy."

Silence filled the car as Kathy took in what Jesse had to say. She knew this was going to happen, hell she'd known it was going to happen since he first showed up at her door. Jesse Kilmartin was going to be leaving town and never looking back, but knowing that didn't make it hurt less.

To say she loved him would most likely be a lie, but to say she was close to him would be an understatement. Jesse Kilmartin had been the one person who had never lied to her, never stolen from her or cheated her. He had been the one person never to back down from her or let her win. He'd been there to listen to her, to fight with her, to protect her, and to save her from everyone and everything, including herself. Jesse Kilmartin had always been there, and until now she really didn't know what that meant.

But she was learning awfully hard and awfully fast now.

"I understand Jess, and like I said, you owe me nothing," she said finally, putting her had on his.

He looked up into her eyes to look for any signs of a lie; any signs that she didn't mean what she said, but found none. "I probably won't be coming back."

"I know."

Still no lie in her eyes.

"I have to."

"Now who are you trying to convince, me or yourself?" she asked, a smart ass smirk on her face.

"Myself I think. I don't want to go, but I have too. I just do."

"Life with out Jesse Kilmartin…wonder if the world going to end?"

Jesse laughed at the joke, a nervous kind of laugh that did little to ease the tension in the car, "Come on," he said, "I'm getting clostaphobic."

The two made there was inside the pub, hand in hand, Kathy still teasing Jesse. Neither of them noticed the lone figure standing in the abandoned bar until he spoke.

"Jesse, I need to talk to you," came the tired and strained voice of Adam.

Both new mutants jumped and before Jesse could responded Kathy barked, "Adam Kane what are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to Jesse. It's important."

"Get out of my pub," she hissed, taking a step forward.

"What do you want Adam?" Jesse said, pulling Kathy back a little.

For a moment Adam just looked at Jesse, unsure of what to say. It was sad to think that coming here had been his last resort, that asking Jesse for help was so low on the lists of possibilities that it had taken him costly hours to come here. But the rift had grown that far between them, where they had once been father and son they were now strangers. The Jesse that stood in front of him now was not the Jesse he had last seen.

This Jesse had a beaten down look to him, like somebody who had last them self and was now trying to rebuild, but at the same time he looked tougher. His skin seemed to be harder and his stance more confident, more sure. The air about him even seemed to radiate confidence. It was a far cry different then the old Jesse.

'Did we really beat you down that badly jess?' Adam asked himself, but quickly pushed the thought away. "I need your help, and I know I'm asking a lot, but I have no one else to turn to. Something went terribly wrong tonight Jesse, terribly wrong."

"Other wise you wouldn't be here. What happened?" Jesse said tonelessly, even though inside he was shaking.

"Ashlock has them, all three of them Brennan. He attacked a safe house and they went in to stop him and he took them all. Shalimar, Emma, and Brennan; he's holding them hostage until I give him a cure."

For a moment all the air left Jesse's body and nothing was real, but then it all came crashing back down on him with a terrible force that it left him sick. "If this is some kind of trick….What do you want from me Adam?" he said, that same toneless sound to his voice, but a challenging look to his eyes. He was daring Adam; to do what he didn't know.

"This isn't a trick Jesse. It's horribly real. I need your help to get them back," Adam assured.

"Why should he?" Kathy asked before Jesse could say anything, "Why should he help you? What have you done lately to help him?"

"Kathy…" Jesse started, but she wouldn't be silenced.

"No! Don't even start Jesse, don't even. Just a few minutes ago you were telling me that you were going to leave and not come back, don't get sucked back in. Remember Jesse, remember why you left? Even now, with the biggest mutant bad ass in the city hold his precious team hostage he comes to you last!" The turning to Adam she added, "And don't say that's a lie. Don't you forget that I'm a mind reader too. That's right, I know Jesse was your last choice, you even tried to make a cure before you come here."

Adam didn't try to defend himself, instead he looked at Jesse and, a bit harshly, said, "What did you expect? You made it quite clear you weren't to be bothered by us. What was I suppose to do?"

Jesse shrugged, "It's always my fault, isn't Adam? I'm a bit to selfish, a bit to naive or clueless. I'm a bit weak, a bit to slow, a bite to pathetic. Right Adam? You have to keep me inside where it's safe so that the others don't have to worry about me, so they don't have to trip over me out there and when one of them gets hurt it's my fault because I wasn't there to put my body in front of that damn laser or bullet or whatever the hell else is throw at them! It's always my fault!"

The words stung. They stung so badly because they were words that Adam had used in his personal files, and though taken out of context, they were still his words. But Adam didn't have time to explain. Right now his biggest concern was his team and Jesse's problems, as mean and selfish as it sounded, would have to wait. "I don't have time to fix whatever screwed up emotions you have. Ashlock has Shalimar, Emma, and Brennan and is doing god knows what to them and I am going to save them. I don't have time for this Jesse. If you're not going to help, fine, just say so."

"Oh, I'm going to help Adam. I'm going to help you. But I give you my word, if you ever ask anything of me again I will break your jaw. After this I'm gone."

* * *

It was with a heavy, heart broken sigh that Adam said, "I can live with that."

Not even a half hour later, Adam, Jesse, and Kathy found themselves in Sanctuary's control center reviewing the footage from the safe house.

"Is there anything else you can tell me?" Jesse said once the footage was over.

"All that's left is about ten minutes later Shal, Bren, and Emma arrived and then twenty minutes after that I lost contact with them and Ashlock made his demand. I then traced their coms and got nothing."

Jesse sighed and rubbed his temple, it was amazing how quickly he could slip into the Mutant X role again. Just sitting here staring at his old computer he was already planning what systems needed to be revised, cleaned and restored. It was pretty sad in his mind.

He looked up to Kathy, who had insisted on being Jesse's back up, and only got steady blue eyes staring at him. She wasn't happy about Jesse's decision, sure she understood that they couldn't just let Mutant X be swallowed up by Ashlock, but that didn't mean she had to be happy about his decision.

"You're killing me Adam," Jesse mumbled before typing some commands into the computer. With in seconds, satellite imagery of the safe house. Once it was clear that the safe house was empty, Jesse then went about hacking into the Police Department's traffic cameras. This time he got something. Using the camera feds, he was able to track Ashlock to an abandoned construction site in the rougher part of town.

"This was too easy," Jesse stated as they stared at the satellite images from the area.

"He wants to be found. He may not know you've left Mutant X and may be trying to lure you out," Kathy reasoned.

"I think that's exactly what he's trying to do. But still, we can have the advantage," Jesse agreed.

"How's that?" Adam asked.

"Well, there are two things that Ashlock is expecting. First is the Helix, and the second is one person. You can already see that he has more men up closer to the roof then he does on the ground floors. If we send the Helix out on auto pilot up to the roof and then enter from the ground, we might be able to throw him off enough to make this easy. You see, by the time they realize that nobody's in the helix, Kathy and I can already be closing in on Shalimar, Emma, and Brennan," seeing the skepticism in Adam's eyes Jesse added, "Kathy can use her power to make us fly, and I can use mine to make us go through the drywall. Our own private elevator, kind of. Anyways, they'll start sending their people down in a hurry assuming that I'm making my way up and while there doing that we can make it to the Helix via our private elevator and then we're out of there."

Adam sighed and shock his head, "I'll fly the Helix then."

"No, you need to be here. Somebody has to watch the computers and tell feed information and Kathy has to come with me," Jesse said, and felt his aggravation grow when he saw the look in Adam's face. "Look, if you have any better ideas, then go for it, but you asked me for my help and this is what I got. If you don't like, tough."

Adam bit his lip and did his best to control his temper, this new Jesse was going to take some getting use to, 'except after this he's gone for good…' Adam cleared his head and sighed, "I'm sorry, I just want them safe. I just want everyone safe."

"So do I Adam," Jess said softly, "So do I."

* * *

In his latest lair, Ashlock sat gloating. Before him, each chained to their own privet hells, were three members of Mutant X. Brennan was suspended by chains a few inches off the ground, badly battered, and soaked to the bone in freezing water, dangerously close to an open electrical out let. Emma was unconscious, after losing a mental fight with Ashlock and his powers of persuasion, laying haphazardly close to Brennan. Shalimar was some ways away from the others, chained to a bed and doing her best to bite Ashlocks fingers as they stroked her hair.

The mad man laughed as she missed, yet again, and said humorously, "It's all coming together Shalimar. Soon Kilmartin will be here and then poor old Adam will be out of options. He'll have to come up with a cure, and just to put a fine point on it, I'll start killing your friend's one by one for him to witness. Who should I kill first? Who means the most to him? Is it Emma? Little Emma?"

Shalimar growled at him.

"Oh…maybe it's Brennan? The big bad Brennan who can't even hold his head up right now?"

Another growl, deeper this time.

"Or maybe it's that weakling geek of yours? Is it Jesse that he loves the most? Should I kill Jesse first? Nice a slowly, so that he loses his voice from screaming long before he loses his life?"

This time Shalimar did her best to lunge at him, hissing snarling and biting. She was stilled though by a slap to the face that split her lip. "Jesse will come Ashlock, but you won't catch him. He'll tare you limb from limb before you even realize that he's there…."

Ashlock laughed, deep and wickedly, before yanking Shalimar by the hair and leaning only inched from her face. "Bring it on…"

With that, he forcibly kissed her.


	9. Chapter 9

"The Helix's almost in place. Five minuets at the most," Adam said over the wireless radio system that they had been forced to use.

Because Jesse hadn't had the time to make two new com rings they had opted for the same system that law enforcement used, which made Jesse feel more and more like SWAT guy. But he didn't have time to think about it. He and Kathy were standing out front of a very large building that was destined to be a hotel, if Ashlock would move out.

"Copy, Kathy and I are heading in. Have you located them?"

"Fifteenth floor lobby," came the brisk reply. Some where along the line the two former teammates had decided that being short and to the point was the best. As a result everything they did now held a stiff formality that Jesse wasn't use to and it served to make him uneasy.

"I'll let you know when we're inside. We're out," Jesse said, and with that ended the connection. He turned to Kathy a silent question on his face.

"I'm not turning back," she said stubbornly before moving her way forward.

"Wouldn't even dream of asking you to Shalimar," Jesse remarked with a smirk.

"I'm not that feral," Kathy growled, casting a dark look over her shoulder.

"Could of fooled me…"

* * *

"Ashlock, sir, the Helix is approaching," said a shy young girl from he shadows. 

Ashlock looked up from his perch next to an unconscious Shalimar. The feral had proven to be more of a problem then he thought. Apparently he had underestimated the strength of an angry feral and the bonds he had used weren't strong enough.

With an evil smile he answered, "It's all coming together. Soon I'll have Kilmartin and Adam is going to pay."

"Jesse's not coming…" Brennan choked out from where he was still chained.

Ashlock turned his attention to the element who was struggling to stay conscious. With animal grace, the mad man made his way towards Brennan, a sadistic look on his face. "You have so much faith in your teammate?"

"Jesse…left…" Brennan spat, and it was clear to Ashlock that he was blaming their recent captivity on Kilmartin.

"Really? So it's Adam that's approaching in the Helix? You've given me a wonderful idea Mulray. A spectacular idea…"

* * *

It took them only moments to get through Ashlock's outer defensives. The mad man may be powerful, but he wasn't as brilliant as he thought he was. Together, with their combined molecular powers, Jesse and Kathy managed to take down the perimeter posts and make it into the main lobby with out being noticed. 

Once inside, Jesse headed straight to the security terminal and activated. He created a connection to Sanctuary's computers in seconds, allowing Adam to see everything that was going on, provided there was a camera.

"I've set up the fed, you have it?" Jesse asked as he looked over to Kathy who was playing look out. The air around Jesse felt charged and it took him only moments to figure out that she was setting up a physic shield around them.

"Yes. Clear as day. The Helix lands in thirty seconds," then the channel was silent again. Leaving Jesse and Kathy alone to work out a plan.

"Kathy, I have good news and bad news" Jesse said as he examined the monitors closely, "They are directly above us. It's a straight shot up."

"The bad news?" Kathy asked.

"Ashlock's taken Brennan up to the roof. Means we have to make a change of plans…Adam…"

"I see it Jess. I see it," the older man said, and for a split second Jesse swore he could hear despair in the man's voice.

"He's probably trying to use Bren as a hostage; this means we're going to have to change things a bit. There are only seventeen floors right?"

"That's correct."

"Kathy and I will head straight to the girls. Once there I'll leave Kathy to handle things and then head up to the roof on my own."

"There's no way you are strong enough to take on Ashlock ad thirty of his closest friends," Adam said flat out.

Jesse bit back the chose words he had for Adam and managed to keep his temper when he spoke, "You don't know everything about my power's Adam."

And with that the conversation was over and Jesse closed the channel.

"Ready Jess?" Kathy asked as soon as Adam was off line.

"Yeah, but there's two more things. First we need to get close to a stairwell so I can shoot straight up. If we come in from here," Jesse said pointing to a far corner of the lobby, "We'll be ok."

"Alright, and that's a good place because we'll be right behind the guards," Kathy said while memorizing the position of the six guards.

"You think you can handle them all?"

"I can. It's going to be a bitch but I can. Once I have Shal and Em Free what do you want me to do?"

"Wait until I tell you it's safe. I know you can hold your own in just about everything, but that's going to be next to impossible with the two of them."

"But I don't have to be out of the fight completly. I can send out physic pules and try to knock some of them down for you."

Jess nodded, "Kathy the other thing I need you to do is promise me that no matter what you'll do as I say. That you'll trust me and just do what I say, alright?"

Kathy looked deep into Jesse's eyes and found herself unable to read his expression. It was clear to her that the molecular was holding something back, but she was unsure as to what. But with the look that Jesse was giving her right now there was no way she would question him. He was in complete control, confident, ready and able. Right now he could tell her to go into hell and fight with satin and she would.

"Whatever you say Jess. No argument from me. I promise."


	10. Chapter 10

This next move involved one of the most intensive concentrated team work that ether of the two mutants had ever had to do. They had only split seconds to work or make corrections in their movements, but some how they managed and Kathy's bubble crashed through the fifteenth floor with it's two passengers intact.

The guards were so stunned by their sudden appearance that they hesitated, giving both Jesse and Kathy enough time to act. While Jesse departed for he roof, Kathy sent out her first wave of attack.

Using her ability to control air, she sent controlled hurricane force blasts toward each of the guards and before they had a chance to recover, slammed the weight of the room upon them. In no time all six were down for the count and Kathy was making her way to Emma.

The red head was not in good shape. Ashlock had fucked up her head, and Kathy could see the nightmarish hell just under the surface. "Damn it…" Kathy hissed as she tried to feel her way into Emma's mind. Whatever Ashlock had done to her, it was strong. 'But Ashlock isn't here to reinforce it…' Kathy realized and a smile crept to her face. Taking a deep breath and focusing her energy, Kathy sent as powerful a mental blast as she could into Emma. She followed it up with several more quick ones just to be sure and was reworded by the sound of Emma screaming.

"It's alright, it's alright, you're ok….I got you, you're ok," Kathy soothed, forcing the red head into her arms. She held her still for a minuet until she was sure that Emma was aware of where she was.

"God it was awful…" whimpered the red head.

"Yeah, but you're ok now," Kathy assured and released her.

"What are you doing here?" Emma asked, visibly shaking.

"Jesse and I are here to get you out of this…"

"Jesse?" Emma asked surprised as she looked around. Her eyes spotted Shalimar and widened at the sight of her friend, and caused her to search more franticly. When she didn't see any of the boys she started to panic, "Where's Bren? And Jess? Where are they?"

"It's alright," Kathy assured he once again, "Ashlock took Brennan up to the roof and Jesse went after him. Emma, I need you to focus. Meditate if you have to, but you can't lose it on me ok?"

The young woman gave her a shaky nod and excepted the hand to help her to her feet.

Once Kathy was sure Emma wasn't going to collapse, she made her way to the feral. The feral was bruised and scratched, but other then that looked to be alright. At least she was conscious.

"Jess came?" Shalimar asked weakly.

"Yup. He's going to get Brennan," Kathy confirmed as she helped the blond sit up.

"He's not strong enough to take on Ashlock…"

Kathy's mouth formed a tight smile, "Right now I wouldn't let him hear you say that. He may not be strong enough, but I damn well think he's pissed enough," then addressing both girls se said, "Come on ladies, let's start heading for the Helix."

* * *

Jesse broke the roof top at a safe pace. He was taking his time on this one, knowing very well that everything depended on him at the moment. He could hear from the other side of the roof both the engine of the Helix and Ashlock demanding Adam to come out of the jet. Splatter in there were Brennan's cries of pain and Jesse pushed the thought of what was being done to him away.

"Adam," he called softly, body alert for anyone near him.

"I'm here Jess," the older man said, his voice tight.

"I'm on the roof and I need a body count."

"Thirty, not including Ashlock. They're mostly centered around the Helix."

"Don't suppose you can give any of them a blast of jet air?"

"Brennan's to close."

Jesse sighed and rubbed his temple. "Kathy com in."

"I'm here, I've got the girls. They're alright for now."

"Good. Listen I have a crazy idea that's probably not going to work but it's the only one I've got."

"Go for it," Kathy said.

"Where are you?"

"The stairwell to the roof, waiting."

"I need you to position yourself close to the Helix, but stay under it. You understand?" Jesse flinched as he heard Brennan scream again and he fought to control his emotions, mixed as they were.

"I understand Jess."

"Adam, you help her with the positioning. And make sure she's close to Brennan but not to close."

"I will," Adam assured.

"Alright, Kathy on my cue, I want you to blast through the ceiling and fly up out of there. Grab Brennan and then get into the Helix. Don't worry about the bodies; I'll take care of them. Just get Brennan and the girls into the Helix as fast as you can. Understand?"

"Understood. Jesse, what about you?"

"Don't worry about me, as soon as you're all in take off. I'll be fine."

"Jess, you can't take on tat many people!" Adam interrupted.

"I can't do a lot of things Adam, but this isn't one of them. Let me know when Kathy's in place. Out," Jesse said, having the final word.

Once he was sure his orders were being followed, Jesse started to focus his body. Ever since he had phased the Helix his powers had been growing and he's been practicing. It hadn't taken him long to test the limits of what this growth spurt had given him, but he still didn't have complete control over. And there was one other problem; he had no idea if he had the strength left to even do this.

"I'm in place Jesse?" Kathy's voice broke through his thoughts. "We're ready for whatever."

"Alright, on my mark I want two things to happen. Kathy I want you to blast through and try not to take out the entire roof, and Adam open the Helix and get it ready for flight."

"Understood," Kathy said.

"I don't know about this Jesse," was Adam's reply.

"You don't have to, just do it. Alright, wait for my mark," with that Jesse moved from the safety of his hiding place into view of the enemy.

The sight before him wasn't a pretty one. Ashlock had Brennan by the neck and was working on electrocuting him with his followers a safe distance behind him. He could now hear clearly Ashlock's demands and threats for Adam to come out of the Helix and a bitter smile played at his lips.

"Thought I wouldn't come, hey guys?" Jesse said to himself. Louder he said, "Adam's not in there!"

As his voice rang out, the whole roof seemed to close in and Ashlock turned slowly around to face the new arrival while at the same time releasing Brennan. "Jesse Kilmartin, well I'll be damned. They told me that you weren't going to come."

"They don't know me so well," Jesse said as he stepped forward. "You alright Brennan?"

"Just…peachy…" the element coughed out weakly.

"Well, isn't this exciting? Everybody's here," Ashlock said, as he moved away from Brennan towards Jesse.

All at once Jesse saw Ashlock's entire 'flock' eyes glow and begin to move in time with him. "Pet zombies? Always wanted one growing up," Jess said as he backed up a bit, each step luring Ashlock farther from Brennan and the Helix.

"Give up Kilmartin. These pet zombies of mine will do anything for me. They won't stop no matter how hurt, how weak, or how close to death they are. You'll never be able to beat them, let alone me. If you give up now, you can be one of my zombies."

"Why does everybody have no faith in me?" Jesse sighed, "Anyways, thanks for the offer, but I'll pass," all along he was thinking 'just a little farther.'

"Very well then," Ashlock said stopping in place. "Get him," he ordered his minions.

"Mark!" Jesse snapped and in a second a small explosion rocked the building.


	11. Chapter 11

For a moment there was sheer confusion as debris flew everywhere, crashing into Ashlock's Zombies from behind and knocking them flat. The dust screen that was created did wonders to blind Ashlock and keep him from spotting Kathy and the others' grand escape. It wasn't until the Helix's engine kicked in that Ashlock caught on to the fact Jesse was the decoy.

"Kilmartin…you rat bastard!" the enraged mad man bellowed as the dust cleared. He spun around to face the molecular, power blazing. But Jesse wasn't there.

As soon as the explosion had hit the molecular had moved. He was making his way to Ashlock, trying to put himself in between his escaping teammates and Ashlock. It was slow going though, even though the pet zombies were confused and a few of them had been knocked down from the debris, Jesse still had to fight his way through.

He was able to catch glimpses of Kathy helping the others into the Helix, and he was aware the moment the Helix took off, but for the most part he was focused on trying not to be over powered. Unfortunately, Ashlock had also realized what was happening and when he knew that the Helix was out of his reach he turned his rage on Jesse.

When the bolt hit him, Jesse was fending off two of the more cleaver Zombies. It was so powerful it knocked him off his feet and caused him to roll several feet. The Zombies were swarming him instantly and it seemed to be over for Jesse right then and there. But the molecular had a card up his sleeve and now seemed like the perfect time to play it.

When he felt the first hands grab him, Jesse wrestled himself free and rolled out of the swarm's reach. Once clear, he laid face down on the roof and starched his arms out, palm down, as far as he could. He heard Ashlock laugh and say, "It's too late to surrender. You're a dead man," before he took a deep breath and casted his power's outward.

When Jesse had phased the Helix he had over extended his powers to the point that he jump started his next level of mutation. As a result a new power had emerged and for the first time in his life, Jesse had an offensive ability. The power that was developed allowed Jesse to not only phase what he was touching, but what was touching it. And it also allowed him to separate the molecules of the objects to the point where he could manipulate them to do what he wanted.

In other words, everything touching the roof was now under his control and he could kill off the Zombie mass simply by making them apart of the roof. However, Jesse was a humanitarian and didn't believe in practicing mass murder so instead of merging the Zombie's molecules with the roof's he moved the entire swarm to a vault in the hotel's basement. How could he do this?

The power didn't just allow him to merge molecules, but it also gave him the ability to see them and what was happening to them. Each molecule that belonged to a specific object was a different color or shade and after months of practice Jesse had figured out how to tell them apart. During those same months he had also discovered that the molecules, unless forced to do otherwise, would naturally seek out their 'rightful' place in the body, thus correctly putting themselves back together.

Once he was sure that everyone was put back together and that it was safe, Jesse un-phased. For a second he felt nothing, he sensed nothing, and comprehended nothing; then he took his first breath. The pain was all consuming as it tore through his body in a seemingly blind rage. It was indescribable intense and over powering, causing him to curl up into a ball and scream. It seemed like it an eternity for it to end, and it left Jesse gasping and nearly helpless.

A lamb for the slaughter.

A menacing laugh was the first thing that penetrated Jesse's glazed mind, and he looked up horrified. Ashlock was there towering over him with an indescribable look of madness on his face. His right hand was extended outward, an electrical orb forming in the palm.

"Now you die…."

* * *

Kathy had her hands full on the Helix. Between an injured Brennan, a frantic Emma, and an enraged Shalimar it would be a miracle if they all made it back to Sanctuary in one piece.

"Why the hell did you leave him there alone?!" Shalimar hissed for the tenth time, and for the tenth time Kathy answered;

"He told me too."

"That's no reason! He's going to get killed! There's no way he can take on Ashlock!" Shalimar yelled.

Kathy's eyes narrowed and she looked up from Emma, whom she was trying to calm, "Because you just spent the last few hours with Ashlock I'm going to let that slid, this time. But I suggest you sit down and shut up for the remainder of the flight, if not for my benefit or yours, for Emma's. What the hell do you think your little tantrum is doing to her? Remember, Ashlock just destroyed all her mental barriers."

Shalimar opened her mouth to say something but she was stopped by Brennan, "Easy Shal. He'll be fine. Ashlock won't kill him, not if he think he can use him to get to Adam."

Shalimar looked at Brennan. He was so battered and broken, he was nearly unidentifiable. It was amazing to her that he was still conscious let alone able to speak reason. And maybe that was why she shut upped and sat down without any more argument.

Kathy gave Brennan a grateful look before returning her attention back to Emma. She was grateful that the Helix was being flown by remote control and that Brennan was lucid enough to have an effect on Shalimar, because now she could focus her attention on helping Emma rebuild what Ashlock had destroyed. And even better, she could focus on something other then what might or might not be happening to Jesse.


	12. Chapter 12

Adam watched with a mixture of wonder and horror as Jesse fought Ashlock's zombies. The fed that Jesse had placed in the main security consol allowed Adam the ability to view the entire hotel via the cameras and currently his attention was on the roof.

He couldn't believe that the young boy he had saved and cared for had grown into such a…fighter. There was no hesitation in the man he watched, no fear, no second thought. He was seemingly unstoppable as he took down zombie after zombie, at least until Ashlock stepped in.

Adam felt his heart flutter and fear grip him as he watched the molecular get thrown across the roof from one of Ashlock's electric blast. He had to restrain the erg to call out to Jesse over the radio, knowing that it would only be a distraction. He thought for sure that Jesse was done for when the zombies swarmed him yet again, and found himself praying for a miracle. What happened next was so unexpected, Adam didn't even know if it was real.

One moment there was an entire population of ruthless attackers trying to kill Jesse, the next they were all gone. Adam had no doubt it was something that Jesse had done, but he had no clue as to what it could be. All that he did know was that whatever the young molecular did, it cost him dearly as he now lay on the roof screaming. Again Adam wanted to reach out to the young man, but at that same moment an alarm signaling that the Helix was now landing went off and Adam had to abandon his post by the consol to go to the three who he could currently help.

As soon as he arrived in the hanger, he was thrown headlong into treating his 'children.' Brennan would need the most help, Shalimar would need to be drugged or her feral instincts would put everyone's well being into jeopardy, and Emma would also need to be drugged. Adam hadn't forgotten about Jesse either, he looked up at Kathy who was helping Emma to the lab;

"Kathy, Jesse need's to be picked up. He's fine, but he's going to be too tired to drive," Adam said tonelessly so that he didn't worry any of the injured members of Mutant X, mostly Shalimar. Even still, he could see the feral's face pale. Kathy made no reply as the four headed for the lab and somehow managed to get the wounded settled.

When she was free of Emma, and after making sure Shalimar would stay still, Kathy locked eyes with the scientist for a moment. Adam knew she was reading his thoughts. Not in an attempt to violate his personal space but to gain a better understanding of what she was facing. Once she understood, she nodded and then two things happened at once. Emma fainted and Shalimar fell asleep.

Both Brennan and Adam looked around stood dumb struck for a moment. Adam was the first to recover enough to speak, "Was that really necessary?"

Kathy shrugged, "It's better then drugs, and this way Shalimar's not mad at you when she wakes up. Oh, and Emma has me in her mind instead of Ashlock."

Adam sighed, she was right, and arguing wouldn't do any good now. "Make sure you get some morphine ready as well as a first aid kit."

"Jess…hurt?" Brennan asked as Adam activated the medical scan.

"Not hurt, but strained. He pushed his powers to their limits," Adam answered as he injected Brennan with a pain reliever while Kathy busied herself getting the first aid kit ready.

"I didn't…think…he'd…come…" Brennan said as he struggled to stay awake.

"Yeah, well that's the problem with you guys. You're always under estimating him," Kathy said bitterly as she locked eyes with Adam again. This time though Adam looked away, showing the first signs of shame since Jesse had left.

"We have. But we'll have to worry about that later, right now we need to get him home and make sure his powers don't become unstable."

"Whatever," Kathy sighed, "The Helix is programmed to fly?"

"Who said you were going?" Adam said, "Brennan's hurt the worst and his injuries are minor. There's no way for me to control Shalimar once she wakes up, short of a tranquilizer gun when all you have to do is send a mental blast to knock her out. And you're the only one who can help Emma. I'll go get Jesse; you stay here and baby sit."

"Not…a…baby…" Brennan mumbled and Adam patted his shoulder fatherly.

"Go to sleep Brennan."

Kathy again narrowed her eyes, but Adam stood unimpressed. He'd made up his mind and he wasn't budging, and she knew it. Besides, if she fought with him about it Jesse was exposed to danger longer then he needed to be. "Fine, but you better not hurt him anymore then you already have," she hissed.

Adam shrugged as he took the first aid kit from her, "I won't. I promise." Then he was gone.

* * *

Unknown to those at Sanctuary, Jesse was not fairing well.

Too exhausted from his burst of power, Ashlock was tossing him around like a rag doll. For whatever reason, Ashlock had escaped from his sweep and was not being held prisoner with his zombies. The insane man had now seemingly been pushed over the edge and was contenting himself by torturing the helpless molecular.

Another electrical blast hit Jesse in the lower back and he again screamed out in pain. That made the tenth direct hit in a row and Jesse was now starting to find that he was losing control and feeling in his legs. On top of that, his breathing was irregular and he knew that at least three ribs were broken. He was also pretty sure his right arm was at least fractured. He'd be lucky to survive this one.

An invisible hand dragged Jesse from his crumbled position to slam him painful against the roof. Jesse could feel the gravel cut into his flesh and the sting of salt in open wounds. But he only had a moment to wonder at it before Ashlock tossed him into the air again. He landed, painfully, steps away from his tormentor.

Another menacing laugh escaped the man as he stood over his pray. "You poor, poor, pathetic freak," he hissed, "You though you could take me on, I bet you even thought you could win."

He sent a shot of electricity through Jesse's body, causing the blond's muscles to spasm and him to cry out.

"You even had a cute little trick that you though would insure your victory. But look at you now.

He sent another shot through Jess, and again the blond spasm.

"You failed!"

"No…they're safe!" Jesse chocked out before Ashlock could shock him again, stopping the attack.

"They? Your equally pathetic team mates? You know what they said about you? They said you'd never come. That you were too weak to take me on. Too pathetic to do any good."

"I know…" Jesse hissed out, "but I won…."

Ashlock was prepared to shock him for the finally time, when again he was interrupted. The sound of an engine caught his attention. It was barely audible, but his feral senses picked up on it and he knew instantly that it was Mutant X returning for the comrade. A mad man's smile graced his lips as he looked at the crumbled form of the molecular an idea sparking in his twisted mind.


	13. Chapter 13

Adam landed the Helix on the opposite side of the roof then where all the fighting had taken place. Cautiously, he made his way to where he suspected he'd find Jesse. He had been expecting to find the blond unconscious or close to it, he was not expecting to find him in Ashlock's strangled hold.

Ashlock held the blond by his throat carelessly. Poor Jesse looked thrashed; his body was covered in cuts and buries, his arm hung uselessly, his legs could barely support him, and his breathing was labored. A quick assessment told Adam that Jesse had internal injuries and needed treatment right away. The only problem was that he had no mutant powers and was now in a stand off against the most powerful mutant in the world.

"Don't come closer Adam," Ashlock ordered shaking Jesse slightly to exaggerate his point.

Adam did as he said, but in stead of cowering like Ashlock wanted him to he stood firmly, with an air of defiance. "What do you want now Ashlock?' he said, sound a bit bored when inside his heart was racing.

"You know what I want Adam…I want you to give me that damn cure," Ashlock demanded.

"I can't give that to you Ashlock, not in time," Was his steady reply.

"Can't or won't Adam?" Ashlock hissed as he tightened his hold on Jesse's throat. Te molecule's eyes widened and he tried to gasp for air.

"Well I won't do a damn thing if you kill Jesse," Adam stated matter of factually. He was starting to slip into his detached scientist mode, hoping by staying numbingly calm Ashlock would relax enough for Jesse to escape.

Unfortunately, Ashlock was to unpredictable. Adam's calm and uninterested appearance had sparked another rage in Ashlock, combine that with Adam's refusal to cure him, Ashlock was seeing red. He raised his arm preparing to blast the geneticist with the full force of his power. Jesse, who noticed what Ashlock was doing, knew that there was no way for Adam to survive the blast and knew that there, was no way for Adam to stop it or escape it. And not wanting to witness his former mentor's death right at that moment, Jesse did the only thing he knew how. He phased.

* * *

Kathy may have been left behind, but she wasn't out of the loop. She sat the control room watching the action like Adam had been doing previously. She could feel herself panicking as she watched Ashlock rain blow after blow upon Jesse and she tried to warn Adam. But Adam in his hast to go and get the molecular had forgotten a radio and Kathy had no knowledge of the com system. And with the three remaining members of Mutant X down for the count she had choice but to watch the horror show unfold.

"Please God; let him be alright…let him come back to me…."

* * *

It was like falling in slow motion. It was so different then what he and Kathy had done earlier, in fact it was so different then when he had ever phased before. It was so intense, so all consuming that it left him mindless.

He had felt this intensity before, but not in a really long time, and never like this. It was numbing. He knew that he was falling through the hotel. He could sense that there was someone else with him, that there were other molecules fighting to merge with his own. He could also sense that their owner was afraid. And he knew he needed to breath, but he didn't know what to do about it.

But he didn't have to worry about it; it kicked in, the erg. The drive to keep living. He had to breath, he needed air. He'd have to pull himself together in order to do it. It would be painful, he knew that. But he would live, and he wanted to live.

So he breathed.

As soon as he did though, the other molecules broke away from him and reality struck him like a lighting bolt…literally….and Jesse came back to himself.

The bolt jolted his mind back into understanding, and he immediately took count of his situation. At least as much as he could grasp beyond the blinding pain. He and Ashlock were no longer on the roof; they were now inside the building. Jesse vaguely remembered falling through several floors, but he didn't have time to think about it. Ashlock was preparing to fire off another bolt and Jesse was sure his one would kill him.

So for the fourth time that night Jesse phased, this time though, he casted his power down, away from him, into the floor. The effect was immediate as Ashlock and the rest of objects in the room went tumbling downward. Jesse didn't bother to think about how far down he was sending him. He didn't bother to think about what he was doing really.

He was focused on one thing, the release of the pain.

As his powered rushed down to the earth it was as if they were draining the pain of his powers from his body. All the years that he had suffered from the burden of his powers, the pin that had crippled him, weakened him, and made him useless were seemingly flowing away. It was an intoxicating feeling and one that his body refused to let go of. As long as he phased the floor he'd be free of the pain…

Somewhere in his mind he could hear screaming and briefly he suspected it was him. He could feel the exhaustion that threaten to consume him and his lungs beg for air. He could feel the bile that rose in his throat and the blood that began to drip from his nose and mouth. He could literally feel his body dissolving and fading into nothing, but he couldn't stop. He just couldn't stop. He wasn't done yet, it wasn't over yet. He had to get it all out, all the pain.

And then there was an explosion in his neck, followed by a cold that seemingly spread through him and then it was over.


	14. Chapter 14

"How is he Adam?"

The question was barely audible in the quiet of Sanctuary's med lab. It was either late afternoon or early evening but it felt like the dead of night. The time when everything seems scary and infinite. Maybe it was because time was dragging...

It had only been hours since Adam had returned home. Only hours since Ashlock had been ready to kill him. Only hours since Jesse had nearly torn his body apart in order to save him. Only hours…but it felt like days.

Adam looked down now at the comatose boy that he had placed in a pod. If it hadn't been for the tranquilizer gun that Adam kept in the first aid kit it would have been a coffin. The scientist shuddered as he recalled the sight that had met him when he finally caught up with Jess...

_Jesse was stretched out, face down on the lobby's floor. He was screaming as his body seemingly rippled with his the force of his phase. The area around him was completely phased, to the point that it was transparent. It was a wonder that Jesse didn't fall through the floor with everything else. But upon closer look Adam noticed that Jesse was slowly becoming one with the floor. _

_He wasted no more time and pulled out the tranquilizer, hitting Jesse with a dart just under his brain stem. The molecular quickly succumbed and the room returned to normal almost instently. Jesse however was not returned to normal. _

_He had pushed himself so hard that his powers were now painfully unstable and as Adam gently turned him over to examine him, he had caused the young man enough pain that he cried out out, even drugged._

_Briefly his blue eyes fluttered open, just long enough for him to whimper, "It'll never stop hurting…" before passing out completely…_

Adam sighed and rubbed his temples, as if to erase the memories from his mind, and tried to think of an answer for Brennan.

The element was the only member of Mutant X that was allowed in the lab. Shalimar had been confined to her room after nearly ripping Kathy's throat out when she awoke. And Kathy was still trying to help Emma rebuild her defenses. As a result both girls were nearly exhausted. Te only reason Brennan was in the lab to begain with was that he couldn't walk in a straight line.

"He has a moderate concussion, four broken ribs, a broken and dislocated right arm, his upper body is covered in first and second degree burns and there's a mirage of cuts and bruises covering him. Thankfully though, the internal bleeding isn't serious. And that's just the least of his problems. He's pushed his powers way past his limits and now his body can't reform. Jesse's in serious danger of just phasing away…"

Adam didn't have to look up to see Brennan shudder. He knew it was there, aswell as the horror of the thought. "Right now I have him in an induced coma, I'm hoping that the complete lack of activity in his body will help his powers' stabilize," Adam finished.

"Why's he in the pod?" Brennan asked, his voice raspy, but still Adam could hear the underlining outrage. 'How could you put any mutant into a pod let alone Jesse who's biggest fear is to be locked in one of those things and left there?'

Adam sighed and locked eyes with Brennan, he was way too tired to be challenged right now and to have to explain his actions so he said bluntly, "Because this is the only thing he can't phase through right now."

"What if he wakes up?" Brennan said a few minutes latter.

"He won't," Adam said, shuddering a little at the thought.

"What if he does? His body processes chemicals faster doesn't?"

"No, more intensely not faster," Adam corrected, "He won't wake up."

"You hope," Brennan said.

"Look Brennan, it's either he's in the damn pod or he phases away into the earth and we lose him! Of course we might still lose him because I can't figure out a single god damn way to fix this! And because Jesse took all the damn records I had on him with him when he left I can't go and look to see what I've tried in the past!" Adam snapped, the stress finally breaking his detached composure.

Again the two lapsed into a tense silence. It stretched out for what felt like hours as both men tried to just let it past. Finally, when he couldn't take it anymore Brennan said, "What about an electric shock? It's worked in the past…"

"Not this time…not with as much electricity his body's already taken today. It might kill him."

"Isn't there a drug or something that Genomex has hidden away that you can use?" Brennan asked softly.

"No…no…it's too dangerous. I have no idea what Jesse is allergic to or what his powers react to. I need his damn medical file…"

"If I get it to you, you can save him?" Kathy asked from the doorway, startling both men.

"Where's Emma?" Adam asked.

"She's with Shalimar, sleeping. She needs to feel safe right now…they both do," Kathy answered matter-of-factly, "If you have his medical file, can you save Jesse?"

"You have it?" Adam asked.

"I can get it…yes," Kathy said entering the lab and walking over to the pod where Jesse lay. "Can you cure him?" she asked again, for the third time, as she watched his powers ripple through out his body.

"I can try," Adam said.

"That isn't good enough Adam. When he left, he wanted you completely out of his life. He didn't want anymore tests, anymore examines, and he didn't want you to have the ability to even try….He even went as far as to make me promise that no matter what I wouldn't call you. If I'm going to break that promise I need something more then 'I'll try.'"

Adam held his breath for a moment both from the hurt of the revelation and at the simple fact he didn't know the answer. At this point he had no idea if he could save Jesse or not. The only way he could be sure of the answer was to look at Jesse's medical files. The only way to get the needed files was to give a sure answer…in other words he'd have to like to an empath.

"I promise I'll save him," Adam said as sincerely as he possibly could.

Kathy studied him for a long minute and Adam had to fight to keep his sincerity. Eventually though she nodded.

"I'll be back soon."

And she was gone.

Adam sighed and rubbed his temples. He really needed a vacation.


	15. Chapter 15

Did she believe Adam? Did she think he was lying to her?

She'd like to think that the kindly doctor who had saved her so many years ago wouldn't. She'd like to believe that Jesse was capable of being saved. She'd like to believe that Adam was God. But did she?

No.

So then why was she racing back to Sanctuary from her apartment with Jess' medical records, ready to break a promise she had made him? Because she was damned if she did and damned if she didn't.

It took her an hour for the complete round trip, and that only because she defied all traffic laws and a few laws of physics. Her biggest fear was that she'd be too late, or that Jesse would be awake, locked in that pod. But it wasn't the case she found as she entered the med lab.

Jesse was still unconscious, Brennan was still recovering, Adam was still hovering and now the two girls were with in striking distance of the Pod and by the looks of it, refusing to move. "Do you have the files?" Adam asked, eagerly.

"You're going to save him?" Kathy asked as she held up the disk.

"I'm going to save him," Adam said again, "He's already growing more stable."

Kathy nodded and handed the doctor the disk. Adam quickly headed off to find a computer. Now all they had to do was wait for him to work his miracles. Kathy pulled up a chair next to the pod; it was going to be a long wait.

* * *

Adam scanned threw Jesse's files in recorded time. He knew exactly what he was looking for, which made things easier. All along he had had a hunch about how to treat Jesse, remembering a similar stage that Jesse's powers had gone through years ago. And now it was there, right in front of him in black and white, the confirmation that he needed.

Back when Jesse first arrived at Sanctuary, he went through a mega power boost that almost cost him his life. The only thing that saved him was several doses of steroids injected into his bloodstream. The results had been nearly instant and Jesse had recovered with in the week. The only problem was that Jesse couldn't remain sold long enough for Adam to inject the steroids into him.

"Emma, are you in the lab?" he asked over the com system.

"I'm here Adam. What do you need?" came the tired reply. She was still recovering from last night and soon he would have to insist she got some rest, but for now he needed her.

"I need you to pull out the J series of steroids and start turning them into their gas form. I'm almost finished here, give me about twenty minuets."

"Alright Adam, I'm on it."

The com went dead and Adam continued on with reviewing Jesse's files. He wanted to make sure that this was the only option before he decided because there was on factor involved that made the scientist hesitate; Jesse would have to be awake in the pod during the treatment.


	16. Chapter 16

Adam didn't explain to any of Mutant X what he intended to do. Instead he had Emma and Shalimar 'assist' Brennan to his room and help the element get settled there. Kathy he had allowed to stay knowing that he needed help; someone would have to watch Jesse while he took care of the vitals, and he couldn't depend on the rest of his team. While Kathy cared deeply for Jess, she was able to emotionally detach herself from just about any situation. In addition, she'd be able to calm Jesse quickly if the molecular should become too crazed.

They had to work quickly, in a few minuets a very angry feral would be pounding on the now locked and barred med lab door and a horrified Emma would be staring in at him. So Adam explained what the plan was while he busied himself with the preparations. For a moment he feared that Kathy would fight him on what needed to be done, but the moment quickly passed.

"I just don't understand why he has to be awake…." She said grimly as she watched Adam inject the necessary stimulants into the IV line that fed into Jesse's vain. The stimulants would take about five minuets to work, plenty of time for Adam and Kathy to begin feeding the steroid gasses that Emma had made into the pod.

"When Jesse wakes up and realizes he's in the Pod, he'll begin to panic. When he panics his adrenalin kicks in and his body goes into over drive. He'll begin to panic breath, kick, punch, body slam, and basically get his body moving. He may even try to phase and mass. All this gets his blood flowing and forces oxygen to run throw his body, the oxygen is going to be laced with the steroids his body needs to stabilize his molecules. It's crude, evil, hellish, and inhuman, but it's the only way to save him," Adam finished as he began the gas flow into the pod.

Kathy didn't say anything for a moment as she just watched the molecular begin to wake inside the pod. She could feel his mind start to awaken and knew it wouldn't be long. She could also feel the turmoil streaming from Adam as he tried to detach himself from everything and force himself to focus on the outcome. But she'd be damn if she'd let him.

"So what do you need me for Adam?" She asked, almost icily.

"If it gets too much for him, I need you to knock him out or force his mind to shut everything else."

Kathy gave a crisp short laugh, "You mean mind rape?" she accused.

Adam looked up at her steely expression and wondered for the second time if he had made the right decision, "No I mean just knock him out…send a blast like Emma does."

"My powers don't work like Emma's Adam. Emma's more powerfully then I am. I have to be inside his head to knock him out which means I have to force my way in. That's mind rape Adam. That'll put me on the same level of Ashlock, Adam," she hissed, nearly shaking from anger and helplessness. Damned if she did, damned if she didn't.

"No…it's not the same…" he said, for the first time unsure of what he was asking.

"It's all the same Adam. You're all the same, you play God and this is the cost," she accused pointing to Jesse, who she could now feel was mostly awake and starting to realize what he was in. "You make people like us, and you use people like us to suit your fancy and we pay the price. You used Jesse 'til he was nearly used up. Each time I saw him he was more and more dead. Now you're using me because you can't think of asking Emma to do it, because you know she won't, but you know that I will do anything. That I'd have him hate me for the rest of my life then see him die. But after this Adam you won't use me anymore. You won't use him either," that said she turned her back on the stunned doctor and focused her attention on Jesse who was no beginning to panic.

* * *

Consciousness was hellish, at best, he couldn't describe it at worst. He had the vague impression of not being there, of not being solid, but the pain shooting through his entirety captured his full attention for the moment. At first it was all consuming, over powering, and never ending, but slowly, oh so slowly, it abated some. Enough for him to move.

Only he couldn't move. Not very well. When he tried to sit up, his head hit something. When he tried to push it with his hands, it wouldn't budge. When he tried to kick out, it wouldn't move. All that happened was more shooting pains through out his body that left him breathless and a cool sweat that began to trickle down his back and forehead.

His eyes fluttered several times as consciousness forced them to open. Slowly the blurry mass of colors began to take on shape and form and it was in that instant that he wished he'd never woken.

Jesse began to scream.


	17. Chapter 17

They were in Brennan's room, Brennan lying down, propped up on some pillows, Shalimar sitting next to him and Emma at the foot of the bed. Emma was supervising the two and making sure that they talked to each other. She had had enough of their tension and bickering, and in her current state she couldn't deal with it, so she had made them talk.

"What I don't understand is why you're so jealous of Jesse," Shalimar said, trying her hardest not to raise her voice.

"Because whenever you two our together it's like nobody else matters. You two are always on the same page no matter what. It's like you know each other intimately or something…" Brennan was too tired to raise his voice, too tired to fight which happened to help keep Shalimar calm.

"Jesse and I have nothing between us…We've had years together and come from similar places. I came from a hospital and he came from Genomex, remember? We've been through so much together that we've just learned to read each other; we've learned to understand each other. He's my best friend, my baby brother and there's a bond there that has nothing to do with intimacy, not the way you mean it."

Brennan sighed and took her hand, giving it a squeeze, "You love him though?"

"Because he's my brother."

"And what am I?" Brennan asked.

Shalimar leaned into Brennan while giving his hand a squeeze said, "You're my heart. I love you like I've never loved another man before. Jesse's my brother but you are my lover."

"Wouldn't it be great if Jesse knew that too?" Emma asked them both.

They looked at her, confused.

Emma sighed and rubbed her head before continuing, "I think the biggest problem is that you three don't know where you stand in each other's lives. Brennan thinks Jesse is more important, Jesse thinks Brennan is more important and Shal, you're not communicating your feelings clear enough. Each time you're with one or the other you push them one away. Now, that's not the only thing that's wrong. There's more between you and Brennan and Adam and I have our own issues with Jesse to deal with, but I think that's the biggest problem. And since we have Jesse here with us and we will for awhile I suspect, it might be a good time for some over due vent sessions."

A hush feel over the others as they thought about what Emma said but for Emma her thinking went in an entirely new way of thinking. With all the talk about Jesse a weak link had opened up, inadvertently, between Jess and her. Weakly she could hear a call for help, a silent pleading, a begging for help. She could sense the growing panic trying to consume him, the fear, the helplessness, the rage…she could sense Jesse's need.

Without a word Emma fled the room making her way to the lab.

* * *

Kathy stared, horrified as Jessie slammed his body again and again into the pod's walls. Adam seemed not to notice, or not to care as he continued to administer Jesse's treatment. "Adam," Kathy called as Jesse slammed into the pod again. But Adam didn't hear her, so she called again, "Adam!" Again, no response so she finally sent an empathic pulse towards him.

"Jesus Christ!" Adam called as he stumbled back from his station.

"Adam, he's losing it," Kathy said, not even bothering to look at the man.

Adam hurried over to examine Jesse. What he saw agreed with Kathy's assessment, Jesse was losing it. Adam needed this reaction to get the drugs working in Jesse's system, but this was too much. "Try and calm him down without using your powers; make him focus on you. Maybe if he knows that he's with you and not the GSA he'll calm. If that doesn't seem to help let me know, alright?"

Kathy nodded and then moved that Jesse had a clear view of her. She put her hand on the glass and hoped that Jesse would do the same. It took a moment for the frantic mind inside the pod to notice her, but he did, and he did in fact calm enough to look up at her. Kathy smiled reassuringly when those panic filled eyes looked up at her and mouthed the word 'Safe.'

Jesse shut his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before looking back up at her. The smile stayed on Kathy's face and she nodded her head, though it was hard. Jesse was crying, he wasn't sobbing, but there were noticeable tear tracks on his face and she could tell that he was scared and hurt and confused.

"It'll be ok Jess, it's almost over," she said soothingly, hoping against hope that he could hear her.


	18. Chapter 18

Why were they doing this? Why was this happening?

He didn't understand, not at all.

Why was Kathy keeping him shut in? Why wouldn't she let him out?

Didn't she know that he couldn't breathe? Couldn't she tell there was no air inside? Couldn't she see that the walls were closing in?!

Why was he stuck inside this thing? Why, why, why….

Adam?

Adam would let him out….Adam knew that the walls were closing in…Adam knew he couldn't breath…where was he going? Why did he turn his back on him? Couldn't he see him?

Shalimar understand! Shalimar would be able to see! Where was Shalimar, was she there?

There was something he had to remember…Ashlock?

But the walls are closing in and he can't breathe….

* * *

"He's going to hurt himself worse then Ashlock," Kathy said through gritted teeth as she began to focus her power. In this moment she hated Adam more then anything else in the world. Jesse had calmed for about a minuet, just long enough for him to breath, before his panic attack grew worse. His body was already battered and broken and Kathy was amazed he even had the energy to move let alone throw himself repeatedly against the damn pod.

"I just need a few more minuets…do what you can…" Adam said distractedly as he typed in a few commands on the med lab's computers.

Kathy let out a hiss of anger and, to the best of her ability, forced calmness into Jesse. It helped, somewhat.

Like Kathy had said, she was no Emma. While Emma could force Jesse to calm down with just a though, Kathy had to be inside his head. She had to be controlling him, and she didn't think she was willing to do that. Not yet.

Luckily though, her powers seemed to have some affect on Jesse, either that or he was exhausting himself rather quickly. Whatever the reason, he had stopped slamming himself in to the walls of his prison and just laid there thrashing. She could feel the tears running down her face and had to shut her eyes not to watch. 'Please God let this end…please let this end…'

Emma reached the lab door breathlessly and was surprised to find that it was locked. She could see Adam frantically working and Kathy leaning over the pod. She knew Jesse was awake because she could feel his rising panic, and she knew that Kathy was trying to comfort him, but she didn't know why Jesse was awake. She didn't know why Adam had kept him in the pod, and she didn't know why she couldn't get in.

She tried to enter the key commands for the door, but it had been locked form the inside. With a cry full of frustration and despair, Emma slammed her fists against the glass in a vain attempt to get in. Adam looked at her briefly and she got a hit of mixed emotions, before he returned

"Adam! Stop it! Adam!" she cried as she continued to pound on the door. She could feel her desperation grow with Jesse's panic and she couldn't stop herself from sobbing.

Strong arms pulled her from the doorway and gently placed her against the wall. Shalimar then took up Emma's position of trying to force the door open. Using her shoulder, the feral forced her weight into the frame rapidity, but the door had been built to last and refused to move. The feral let out an animal cry as she felt herself tiring but she refused to stop.

"Shal, you'll hurt yourself," Brennan said as he leaned on the wall for support, "Let me try."

Shal nodded and moved away when she heard the familiar sizzle of Brennan's power. Brennan sent a bolt right at the door's controls.

* * *

So i've just determind that this Chap is dedicated to A. Potter simply cause they've kept me sane while i worte it. 


	19. Chapter 19

Emma was surprised to find the door to the lab locked. She was even more shocked to find out that Adam wasn't helping Jess. She could see Kathy bending over the pod and could sense her power trying very hard to sooth with out violating Jesse's mind. But Adam wasn't doing anything to help and Jesse was growing more and more panicked.

Seized by his feelings, Emma found herself trying desperately to break through the glass door with her fists. It wasn't long before strong yet gentle arms restrained her and moved her away.

"Let me try Em," Shal said, traces of anger in her voice. Emma didn't argue, she just watched wide eyed as Shalimar began to try to muscle her way in. She made several attempts before she too was interrupted.

"You'll hurt yourself," Brennan hissed as he dragged himself to the door, "Let me."

Shal nodded and moved out of Brennan's way giving him a clear shot of the doors controls. One bolt was all it took to fry the circuits and unlock the door. Emma was first through, rushing over to the pod with Shalimar close behind her. She could hear Shalimar yell at Adam to stop and Brennan cursing, but her focus was completely on the task before her.

Kathy looked up at her, tear stained face and pain filled eyes, and whispered, "I can't get through to him without hurting him…."

Emma just nodded, "It's alright, I'm here now."

That being said, she added her power to Kathy's.

…line break…

Inside the pod the walls hadn't stopped moving, but they had stopped crushing him. He could sense them moving away from him. He could sense air filling the now massive space that surrounded him and he doubted he had ever felt anything as wonderful.

He could breath. He could move. He wasn't going to die.

A cooling rush of wind danced across his skin and it felt wonderful. It felt intoxicating. He sighed, a new sense of contentment filling his being and gave into that alluring sense of cool space.

…line break…

"What the hell were you thinking?" Shalimar demanded angrily after Jesse had been moved to a bio bed and the pod had been removed far, far away. She, Brennan, Emma and Adam were in the med lab's observation room. Kathy had passed out shortly after Emma had forced Jesse to sleep and was on a bio bed next to Jesse.

"I was think about saving his life!" Adam answered, matching her tone.

"By scaring him to death?" Brennan demanded.

"I had to have had adrenaline running through his system or it wouldn't have worked," Adam defended himself.

"You better start explaining yourself Adam, and you better do it fast," Emma said, eyes blazing.

Adam sighed and did as ordered. It took him a good half hour to get the three to understand what had to be done, but in the end he did. In the end he got them to conceded to his decision. They weren't happy about it, and they were still quite pissed at him, but they understood.

"That was sick Adam, just plan sick," Shal hissed, "He's never going to forgive you."

Adam was quite for a moment as he looked through the window and watched Jess sleep. The fight with Ashlock played in his head again as well as finding Jesse melding with the floor. The casts, and bandages, cuts, and bruises that covered the boy he had grown to love as a son stung him to his very core. And at the moment the only thing he could think of to say was, "At least he's alive to hate me."


	20. Chapter 20

It wasn't that he didn't want to wake up, it was more he couldn't.

There was a throbbing in his body that made just about any movement impossible. The pain that coursed through him was beyond his comprehension and he didn't quit believe he was alive, so opening his eyes made no sense.

He was happy to just remain still and drift in and out of himself. But as gone as he was and in as much pain as he was, he still could sense the edge of his abyss and he was very careful never to get too close. Though it was tempting to just step over the edge, for each time he got close the pain got less, something stopped him. Some sense told him it was a bad thing. So he'd toy with the idea, but never followed through.

So he just laid there drifting, in and out of himself enjoying the coolness. Careful never to step over the edge, but lingering in the absence of pain….

line

"Adam what's happening?" Shalimar asked, worry thick in her voice and clearly written on her face.

In fact, it was clearly written on everybody faces. After Kathy had woken several hours after the episode with Jess the four mutants had gathered to keep guard. They had sat in silence for most of the time, Kathy and Shalimar by Jesse's side, Emma next to Kathy and Brennan behind Shalimar. Each one was drawing silent support from the others and forcing themselves to remain strong. But it was hard, very hard and Jesse wasn't making it any easier.

For one thing his heart had periods of irregularity where it would beat to fast before skipping several beats or stopping altogether. There were several times where they thought they'd have to shock him. The only good thing was that the steroids did seem to be working. He was no longer phasing in and his internal organs also seemed to decided they wanted to be normal again too.

But he still wasn't conscious and he was still having breathing difficulty. He still had several broken bones and Adam was still watching for signs of internal bleeding. And currently he seemed to be having a seizure.

"Adam…" Shalimar called again as she watched Jesse convulse for the third time.

The scientist didn't answer her though, he didn't have a chance. He was too busy rushing from monitor to monitor trying to find some clue as to what was going on. He was panicking, and the others could sense it.

"It's alright, he's fine," Kathy said after Shalimar had called for Adam again and Jesse's sixth convulsion. Four sets of eyes turned to her, dumbstruck.

The red head didn't care, she ignored them all and focused on Jess. Running he hand through his hair, lavishing in the texture of it, and how it felt against her skin. She leaned in close to him, just close enough so she could smell his sent. She closed her eyes and opened her mind, she heard Emma gasp and sent an apologetic wave to her, but she didn't stop.

She focused on Jesse, his sent and the feel of his hair. The heat from his body and the spasms that jerked him. She focused on him and the memories they shared. And she could sense him, she could feel him. He was on the edge of an abyss but he wasn't in danger. He was dieing, but he wasn't going to die. He wasn't going to go any further, just didn't see the point of returning.

"_Jesse…" _she called to him and she felt him responded.

"_Jesse wake up."_

She felt his body jerk and she placed a hand on his face.

"_We're waiting for you to wake up. We're all here…Jesse, wake up…it's time to wake up…we need you Jesse…we want you…."_

She felt a jerk, but this time in her mind. She felt him push her back, she felt him fighting.

"_Jesse, wake up!"_

There was another jerk and again she was pushed back.

"_Wake up!"_

And now his body jerked and she had to lean into him to hold onto him. And before she understood what was happening, they were kissing and she was back in her mind and She could see his blue eyes.


	21. Chapter 21

"Jesse…" Kathy whispered as she pulled away to search those blue eyes.

She was afraid she would find something wrong, a dull spark, or anger, maybe even resent, but there was nothing except a deep blue. A deep blue that somehow managed to be both water and warmth, both security and danger….a deep blue that was Jesse.

"Jesse," she said softly, but with al the relief in the world. For a moment the two looked at each other, a warm smile on both faces before Jesse broke the silence with a ragged, chocked voice and said;

"Damn that was a hell of a party…."

And all around him people laughed.

- line -

Jesse slept, just slept. Nothing life threatening, nothing dangerous, just sleep. Adam made sure to wake him every hour. His vitals were stable, and growing stronger by the hour, and while he wasn't out of the woods he was making good time. Both Kathy and Shalimar were unmoving by his side.

They said nothing to disturb his rest, but were ruthless in their defense. Every now and then Emma and Brennan would come in to try and get one of them to either eat something or go to bed, but were unsuccessful.

Adam just sighed as he ran one of his many test knowing all to well it was going to be a long night.

- line -

A/N: I know, it's bee so long and this is all I've got?! But hey, don't kill me cause if you do I can't post the next chapter which I am working on now….promise.  don't kill me……


	22. Chapter 22

It had been a long month, a long and tense month. For the first few weeks Jesse was barely conscious longer then an hour or two. But as his strength came back to him, so did his restlessness. It was clear that he didn't want to be in Sanctuary, and for the most part he kept himself locked away in his former room. Kathy was there as much as possible, but Jesse understood she had her life to worry about and couldn't stay with him.

"Soon you'll be able to leave and you can go on with your life. You don't owe them anything anymore Jess" she would tell him each time before they parted. And though Jesse would agree and give her a reassuring smile, he knew it wasn't true. There was a final showdown for the members of Mutant X and he knew that he wouldn't be aloud to leave until it was finished.

The day of the showdown had finally arrived and the tension that filled the halls of Sanctuary was suffocating. Without really knowing why, Jesse found himself wondering down the halls to the center of Sanctuary, the same place he had been given his ring and then discarded it. After seeing no one during his wondering he was startled to find that the remaining members of Mutant X gathered there seemingly having a private conversation.

He was about to turn around when Adam caught sight of him and called softly, "Jesse, please join us.

Jesse stopped moving and turned back around, but he looked at none of them, finding the ground fascinating. He didn't move from his spot either, just stood there tense and on the defensive.

Adam stifled a frustrated sigh, and this time extended his arm and repeated, "Please."

This time Jesse did join them but he still didn't look at anyone. Ironically he found himself in his normal spot, between Shalimar and Adam. Adam gave him a small smile and Shal gently touched his back, pleasantly surprised when he didn't try to pull away. This small action didn't go unnoticed by Adam and he too felt relief, maybe there was hope. He looked around at the four new mutants gathered and did a parental check up on all of them.

Emma looked more rested then she had in a while, and the familiar glint of peace and self ease was returning to her. Brennan's cuts and bruises had healed nicely. He seemed to bare no ill effect from his injuries, and in fact, Shalimar had been scolding him for over working in the dojo. Shalimar, for her part, seemed much more…human…she was less anxious and less caged animal and Adam held no doubts it was because Jesse was here. She too had no ill effects from her time with Ashlock and seemed ready to take on the world. In fact, the only one who still bared any sign of abuse was Jess and even that was minimal.

Letting his gaze rest on the molecular he took he let his mind sigh in relief. It ad been a scary few weeks when they first got Jesse back, but now he no longer seemed to look like he was dragged out of hell. The only signs that he had been in a fight was the still broken arm and ribs. Other then that, Jesse seemed fine. Of course, fine was a relative term. While physically Jesse was healed, there was injuries that bubbled just under the skin that Adam knew would have to be cleaned out and there was no time like the present.

"Thank you, now we can talk," Adam said, ignoring the fact that Jesse still didn't look at anyone, "I think we all have a lot to say and a lot of fence mending but I want to start with this…We are a family. We are a team. Ad in many ways we are a well oiled machine that's just about unstoppable as long as all the parts work. But these last few months have showed us that there was one part that was broken and we got a clear cut example of what happens when we are missing a part."

Here, Adam took a pause to let his thoughts settle and let the others think. "Jesse," he said softly, begging with his voice for the younger man to meet his eyes. It worked, though Adam didn't like to see the beaten look that they held, "Despite what you think, you are a part of us. We do need you. I know you think that you are replaceable, that we don't need you. And I'm well a wear that we have, unintentionally, supported that illusion. The truth is Jesse, we can't function without you. You talents and your skills run much deeper then just your powers and your computer knowledge. You're our sanity."

There Adam was at a loss for what to say next. Thankfully he didn't have to say anything, Emma picked up, "Jess, I know we hurt you, but we don't know how? When did you stop trusting us?"

"I never did," Jesse said softly, looking at the ground, "I still trust you…all of you…"

"Then why didn't you tell us what was wrong?" this time from Shalimar.

"I didn't know how to explain it," was the simple reply.

"Was it Brennan and I?" Shal asked, gently turning Jesse so that he faced her.

"No…well, yes but not really. I was angry with Brennan because it felt like he was taking over everything. It just seemed like I wasn't needed, I just got in the way."

"I have to admit, that's what I thought at first…" Brennan said, and Jesse turned slightly to face him, "I thought you got in the way. I was blinded by the rich kid image I guess, but you proved me wrong over and over again. And I found myself to start to respect you…and now I don't just respect you I know you're my equal."

"Could of fooled me…" Jesse said, but the words weren't harsh, they were just the truth.

Brennan nodded, "I'm a jerk by nature. I don't like letting people it, I can't stand it. I've lost to many and been betrayed to much to let people in. And I knew that I was fighting a losing battle when I joined Mutant X because I couldn't help but get close. For whatever reason, maybe because you were everything I wanted to be, but I put all my resistance on you."

"And I saw you taking my world and ended up seeing any offered friendship as a hand out. I pushed you away."

"Jesse, you pushed us all away. Even me," Shal said, recapturing his attention. "Why? You said that you trust us, but why did you not tell anyone what was wrong? Why didn't tell anyone that you felt used?"

"It wasn't that simple…" Jesse said, all of a sudden feeling trapped.

Again, Emma came to the rescue, "When did you start feeling used? When did you start resenting us?"

There was a long silence and Jesse refused to look at Brennan as he said, "Hillview."

"Jess…I can't tell you how sorry I am…" Brennan began, something close to anguish in his voice, but Jesse waved him off.

"I never blamed you Brennan, never. It was at Hillview that I realized I had been holding myself back and that I started to feel I could do more then sit behind a computer. And things only got worse after Morrison. When I phased the Helix…I don't know how, but I jump started my powers…Adam you saw it…."

Adam suppressed a shudder as he replayed that night in his head, "Yes I did."

"We all have," Emma added.

"Then you know how dangerous it is? Then you know that I can't control it?" Jesse asked almost frantic, his eyes searching the faces of everyone around him.

"No Jesse, we don't," Adam said, trying to calm the younger man.

"I was angry, at all of you and I didn't know how to let it out. I had this new power that was beyond my control and I was triggering it without warning. I can merge molecules Adam, I can make something become part of something else…I can kill…." There was a pleading in his voice, a begging for them to understand, and Brennan did.

"You were afraid you were going to hurt one of us…maybe me?" Brennan asked. "You were pissed at me the most, and we were butting heads…you were afraid that you would kill me?"

Jesse looked at him and nodded. "I hated you. I wanted to tell someone what was happening and Shalimar was always my go to, but you had her. I couldn't get in between you, and I hated you for taking that away. It left me with only Adam and Emma, but they were wrapped up in each other…. My body was being torn apart and I had no one to help me…. You abandoned me."

And that was the truth. That was the core. And nobody knew what to say, or what to do because there wasn't anything that could fix it. There was no blame in Jesse's voice, no anger, just a deep hurt and lost eyes. They stood there, silent, each lost in their own thoughts for a long time. Each afraid to speak, each afraid to ask what they all wanted to know. Finally though, because stillness was never her strong suit, Shalimar asked;

"Can you forgive us? Can you come back?"

Jesse looked at her for awhile, he looked at the all, though he didn't see them. He was searching himself, searching for the answer, the honest one.

"It can't be fixed overnight. I can't promise I'll stay, but I'll be near by, and I won't turn away."

It wasn't the answer they wanted, but it was a start and with a slightly less heavy heart Adam said, "And we'll be here. Sanctuary isn't your prison, it's your home, and it will always be open to you. When you're ready, you're welcome."

line

Deep in the pits of hell breathed a monster. Rage like a slow boiling teapot stewed with in him, out matched only by the pain.

_When I heal, Kilmartin will die…._

End.

Stick around for Part Two.


End file.
